


The Megidos

by kaybee



Series: A Year In The Life [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cigarettes, Consensual Underage Sex, Humanstuck, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Multi, Past Character Death, Recreational Drug Use, Stabdads, Underage Sex, basically everyone - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-28 16:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2739818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaybee/pseuds/kaybee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skaia High is full of a strange assortment of characters; the douchebag who plays guitar (badly) to pick up chicks, the 17-year old who still carries around Pokémon cards, but everyone finds him attractive regardless, the girl who became a certified lifeguard at 14, the disguised albino, the girl who’s best friend blinded her in 7th grade, and a myriad of other odd friends. They are slowly finding their way, paving their paths as they grow up. This is a compilation of their stories.<br/>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>After the death of her mother, Aradia enters high school without a sense of family. Her father does his best, but doesn't realize what goes on when he's gone. While Aradia copes with her loss, adjusts to school, and has her own personal drama within her friends, she begins to wonder how much one person can take before they snap like her stepsister did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Adjustments

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so! This is my first humanstuck story, and I'm still working on another story and whole bunches of other things but I didn't want to wait on this one anymore, as I was formulating a lot of ideas. Since I didn't want to take on writing everybody's perspective of the same (general) events all at once, I decided to split it up into 'parts' by families, so by the end, there should be maybe like 16 parts? The 12 troll families and then the 4 kids- Harley/English, Egbert/Crocker, Strider, and Lalonde.  
> There's a lot to this and it may get complicated but I am trying my best to basically relay the events of Act 5 (and the background we get on [d]ancestors) into somewhat realistic, human interactions for them, while including as many characters as possible, and I've had a lot of fun thinking of stuff so far, so here's chapter one of The Megidos' part of the story.

   

     Aradia crinkled her nose. The house constantly reeked of drugs and sex, though it wasn’t nearly as strong upstairs. It wasn’t any surprise to her. She’d heard things about Damara, seeing as her best friend’s brother was very explicitly involved with her for a long time the year prior. The girl now residing in Aradia’s basement barely spoke English, and had nasty habits of smoking anything she could get her hands on, and almost any guy, too. It was a foul smell, and Aradia wasn’t used to it yet. She tried to ignore it, pulling her headphones on further so she could continue watching _Indiana Jones_ on her laptop. It was her own silly tradition to watch the trilogy every year before school started. Usually her dad would watch it with her, but things were strained in the household lately. A loud string of Japanese obscenities streamed upstairs, its volume pulling Aradia from the movie. She slammed her computer shut as she cast the headphones aside, and marched downstairs.  
     “Dad!” she called. She wasn’t sure her father was even home, as she’d lost track of the days throughout summer. Peeking into the garage, Aradia checked for his car. Sure enough, it was gone. She was stuck at home with Damara. Aradia let out a groan, leaning her head into the wall. The pictures wobbled slightly around her. Her dark eyes fell onto one. It was an old picture, and she was very young in it, standing between her parents. Her mother, Rachel, was very beautiful. Aradia’s heart whined. She wished she’d been able to know her mother better. Her dad was great, though a bit overprotective. Another loud Japanese curse emanated from the basement as Damara stomped up the stairs.  
     "Anata ga mine watashi no kusoo yabutta!” the older girl screeched. Aradia raised her hands gently, trying to defer any anger directed at her.  
     “Damara, I don’t- I can’t understand what you’re saying!” Aradia explained. She knew bits and pieces of Japanese, but could never formulate sentences herself, or decipher what Damara was saying when she spoke fast and angry. Damara paused, giving a fake smile as she spoke slower.  
     “Anata ga mine watashi no kusoo yabutta,” she repeated. Aradia furrowed her brow, still unsure of what Damara was trying to say.  
     “Your… what?”  
     “You go in basement?! You break my things.” Damara’s grasp of English was about as strong as Aradia’s grasp of Japanese. The two had their differences to begin with, and the language barrier did not help whatsoever.  
     “Damara, no, I… I never go in the basement!” Aradia shouted back. “I don’t appreciate you blaming _me_ when you don’t take care of your own things. It’s not my fault you’re too strung out to notice!”  
     “Little bitch,” Damara spat, smiling a mean-spirited smile as the words escaped her lips. Aradia gave a small gasp before turning away and returning to her room. She opened the laptop. _Indiana Jones_ began playing again automatically, but Aradia was more preoccupied with Pesterchum. Luckily for her, Sollux was online.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]

AA: hey sollux?  
TA: what?  
AA: can i come over for a while?  
AA: i’m not handling this whole sister thing very well  
TA: well what the fuck makes you think my house is any more stable?  
TA: my dads are fighting, tuna is throwing a tantrum, and my uncle simon is here  
TA: it’s a fucking shit show right now  
TA: kind of driving me crazy  
AA: well if you don’t want me to add to that mess its fine  
TA: you know it's not that i don’t want you here; i just don’t think it will help you any  
AA: okay  
TA: what even happened anyway?  
AA: damara  
AA: she blamed me for breaking something and called me a bitch  
AA: and i think she was glad to hurt me  
TA: wow  
AA: yeah i mean i knew she was bad from when she was around tavros’ brother all the time but i don’t think she was ever this bad.  
AA: theres some part of the story missing  
AA: but yeah im not… feeling too good about the family right now  
TA: well, AA, you can come over if you really want  
AA: oh wow don’t be so persuasive sollux  
TA: AA, come on. my family is so god damn embarrassing  
AA: hah  
AA: you shouldn’t be embarrassed of them  
AA: for the record i like your family  
TA: yeah, i don’t get that. you’re smart enough to know better  
TA: youre not supposed to like my family  
TA: what are you, like my girlfriend or something?

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

    Aradia smiled at her computer screen. Sollux was too easy to talk to, and he was fun to be around. Aradia had spent more time at his house since the family dynamic got turned on its head. It wasn’t hard for Damara to get on Aradia’s nerves, and any time she went to her father, the answer was “it’s an adjustment period”. So she went to Sollux’s place, or Tavros’s or Feferi’s, but usually Sollux’s. Not only did Aradia like his fathers, but his fathers liked her. That was more than she could say about her dad’s attitude towards Sollux. On more than one occasion, he told Aradia he’d slice the fingers off of any boy that tried to touch her, so Aradia didn’t invite friends over very often.

     As she made her way down the street, Aradia thought about her friends. There was quite a large group of them, most of them friends of friends, but all of the kids were about to start high school together, and they all got along fairly well, depending on who you asked. Tavros was Aradia’s best friend. They roleplayed when they were younger, playing a lot of silly games in the park with Terezi and Vriska as well. His older brother taught both of them how to play Pokémon, too, and they all spent some time doing that together. Sollux was someone she’d met when they were both young, and they’d always gotten along. Sollux was very cynical, though, and needed someone lighthearted to get him to smile. Which was rare anyway because he was embarrassed about his braces. It was through Sollux that Aradia met Karkat. He was a grouchy little boy, too wary about showing his albinism to stop dying his hair or wearing color contacts even though it was fairly obvious to everyone he had the slight mutation. He cursed and shouted a lot, and between his and Sollux’s bickering, it was obvious they were best friends in spite of it. Their group expanded when a girl named Nepeta joined them halfway through 8th grade. She was nice enough, though Aradia couldn’t say they were very close, nor were she and Kanaya. Terezi and Vriska, she knew well since they played together as kids, and stayed a pretty close-knit group through their school days. Not that she liked Vriska all that much. She was something of a bully. Equius, she didn’t meet until late last year, after Nepeta joined their little gang. For some reason the hulking brute of a boy and the small girl were best friends. He kind of weirded Aradia out, for the most part. Gamzee had always been more of Karkat’s friend, and quite frankly, Aradia didn’t know him that well. The last two “members” of the kids’ little gang were Eridan and Feferi. Nobody really liked Eridan that much, but they put up with him for Feferi’s sake. She was such a nice girl, and for some reason had elected to stand by Eridan when he moved to their town. The two were almost always seen together, and it made Aradia wonder, but she’d known Feferi since they were in kindergarten, and let Fef do whatever was going to make her happiest.

     Aradia sighed as she let herself in to Sollux’s house. She looked at herself in the mirror perched in his entry hall, brushing a dark strand of hair out of her face. His house was loud, as to be expected when it was packed to the brim with 5 brash men, and especially since Sollux’s dads were arguing. Aradia made her way into the main room, where Sollux was trying to ignore his family by sitting on the couch playing video games while his uncle Simon tried hopelessly to jostle him into conversation, and Mituna was trying to pull the controller out of his hand. She silently stood behind the couch, hearing snippets of the conversation between Carl and Barry in the kitchen behind her.  
     “…but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be concern—Aradia!” Barry stopped midsentence and embraced the girl. It was always a warm welcome for her in the Captor household. Aradia giggled and returned the hug, Sollux pausing his game to watch. She greeted the rest of the family one by one, before sitting down next to Sollux.  
     “It’s so nice to see you again, Aradia,” Carl said warmly. She smiled at him with another small laugh.  
     “Shame we missed your father’s wedding,” Barry continued as he peered into the fridge. Aradia’s face flushed with anger and she sank into her seat next to Sollux. Simon glanced at her, and she eyed him back, though remained silent. He tented his fingers, merely watching as the girl leaned into Sollux, who considered for a moment wrapping an arm around her, only to succumb to his hesitation. While Aradia was well aware of this, she only gave a content smile when Sollux resumed his game. He didn’t stay wrapped up in it for very long, however, as Mituna began insisting on being given a turn, so the boy hesitantly tossed his brother the controller.  
     “What, aren’t you gonna play me Sol?” Mituna hissed through a deep speech impediment.  
     “No. Knock yourself out, loser,” Sollux lisped back.  
     “Afraid I’m gonna kick your ass?”  
     “Fuck that noise… I have a guest, Tuna. Don’t be rude.”  
     Aradia dared a glance upwards at Sollux’s uncle Simon again. He was still watching the two of them, his fingers tented. A thickness settled in the air before he spoke.  
     “You remind me of Hana…” he murmured. It was nearly inaudible, but Aradia’s heart dropped. She had no desire to have anything to do with that woman, and wasn’t thrilled about having her around, especially after seeing what a bang-up job she’d done raising Damara.  
     “Yeah, she’s… my stepmother. Hana Megido-Droog,” Aradia answered quietly. Simon didn’t say anything else, and Sollux just watched her from his peripheral vision.  
     The five Captors and Aradia sat down to dinner, in which Simon got emphatically angry about the days he spent working for Miss Peixes and Mituna, being himself, picked up on his uncle’s volume levels and added to it with strings of shouts and curses about his own group of friends. Aradia remained quiet. She knew there was no way to calm the older brother down, and she didn’t really know how to gauge Simon yet, so she, Sollux, and his dads tried hopelessly to carry their own conversation. Once they were finished eating, the two thirteen-year-olds were dismissed as the adults cleared the table. The volume levels only decreased slightly as Sollux and Aradia sat in the bedroom he shared with his brother, and Aradia swore she heard what sounded like a few dishes breaking, but it was enough solitude for the two to finally be able to talk.  
     “So what’s your uncle doing here?” Aradia asked. The man had a strange aura, and she wondered how he knew her stepmother, but it wasn’t a pressing wonder.  
     “He quit his job. I guess his boss was really over-demanding, and has been for years, and he finally blew a gasket working for her. So he’s crashing here until he finds something else.”  
     “Well, he certainly does add to the volume level around here,” Aradia answered with a giggle.  
     “I mean, we’re used to the noise, but Simon gets going, and it sets Tuna off too, so he’s throwing tantrums and getting mad at stupid shit Cronus said like a year ago, and it’s ridiculous. But my dad is all defensive for him, saying ‘he’s my brother and we need to be there for him, _Barry_ ’ and they’re fighting about that, too, so it’s a whole mess right now.” Sollux sighed, falling onto his bed. Aradia laid down next to him and they both stared at the ceiling together. “So how’s the Droog household going?”  
     “Megido-Droog now,” Aradia corrected him. “And not good. I mean, my dad really does seem to be in love with Hana, which is… good for him, I guess. It was a really dark time after my mom died for both of us, but Hana is awkward around me, and Damara is horrible. It’s just… weird around there lately.”  
     Sollux rolled onto his side, looking at Aradia from behind his glasses. She watched his heterochromatic eyes study her, one a burgundy-esque color, blurring somewhere between red and brown, and the other a deep, rich blue that felt like the ocean. “I think we both just need some time to adjust.”  
     “Yeah,” Aradia repeated, “time to adjust.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a little bit of a hard time writing Aradia, but hemospectrum-ways, she was the first up. What better way to start the story off with my favorite pairing?  
> As anyone else, I love feedback so please leave comments if you're so inclined. I'm also up to fielding questions about the world-building over on tumblr-- www.blake-babeadonna.tumblr.com  
> So that's it for now, thanks for reading.
> 
> Damara Translation- You break my shit?


	2. Like Swallowing Nails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School starts, Aradia meets up with her friends, and her parents drop a bomb on her. Maybe it will be for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it hasn't been very long since I started this, but I couldn't leave this fic alone; I am having too much fun with the world and ideas and I just want to write it all. It's kind of a slow burn, though, so be patient with me.

     Aradia did her best to skirt around family breakfast. It would do her no pleasure to sit down with Hana and Damara, and instead took a small bowl of cereal to the couch while the other three members of the household sat together. She mindlessly ate, her eyes kind of swaying about the room, refusing to focus on any one thing. Voices drifted into her ears, and Aradia picked up snippets of Damara’s Japanese ramble while Hana translated to her father. Daniel Droog was trying to learn his new wife’s language, but he struggled with it immensely. Aradia supposed it was good of him to try. She knew in her heart that Hana couldn’t possibly be all bad, that there was just a rift in the family, but the whole situation felt like utter shit and she tried as hard as she could to distance herself from the other women who suddenly stepped into her life. She placed her bowl and spoon curtly in the sink and paced into the other room where her schoolbag sat by the door, waiting for its first excursion into the world. A picture hung on the wall above it. It was their old family portrait. Aradia was near entranced by it. Her mother was beautiful, light blonde hair set atop a round face with a warm smile. She was mid-laugh in the photo, and Daniel stood opposite her, his gaze oozing pure adoration. And a young Aradia, three or four years old charging at the camera with a huge smile on her face and her hands covered in dirt. She smiled at the photo, trying not to let any tears pool in her eyes. Aradia wasn’t able to remember her mother very well, but she remembered what her dad said over and over after the funeral.  
     “Aradia… you look so much like her. Promise me I won’t lose you too,” he used to say when he put her to bed and stroked her dark hair at night. He never cried, though. Not that she remembered. As Aradia stared at the picture, the truth of the memory hit her. She did look remarkably like her mother. Same shape, same face, same eyes. The truth was dark hair was all she’d inherited from her father. And it hit her like a brick, a dull, painful realization in the side of her face. For as long as she knew, she missed her mother. But the love of the family was tangible just from their portrait, and Aradia now not only missed her, but needed her more than anything. She stared into the late Rachel Droog’s smiling eyes, longing for her to be able to reach out and hug her. But it was impossible. A jangle of keys in the room behind her tore Aradia from the photo. She blinked heavily, stepping backwards. Her backpack still sat by the door, and she grabbed it as her father came around the corner, Damara close behind. She shot Aradia that sickeningly evil grin as the three got in the car.

     Aradia sat in the back, her knees drawn up to her chest as her father pulled up to Skaia High. Damara leapt out of the car immediately, hardly turning back to say goodbye while Aradia shifted slowly in the back seat, moving towards the door. Daniel turned backwards in the driver’s seat, looking at her. The sadness and anger was clear in her eyes as she looked up to meet his.  
     “Dad…” she murmured. A question formed a lump in her throat, and she didn’t dare say it aloud. It was an impossible request anyway. Daniel seemed to know what she was going to say without her having to say it. He wanted Rachel back too, but they both knew it was time to move on. He placed a hand gently on Aradia’s shoulder.  
     “I know, sweetheart. I…” Daniel closed his eyes, searching for the words for a moment. Aradia moved his hands to his.  
     “It’s okay, Dad,” she murmured, hoisting her backpack up by the back handle and getting out of the car. Daniel took a moment, breathing a heavy sigh before he drove off.

     Aradia wasn’t more than 3 steps away from the curb before a clanking noise caused her to turn back towards the drop-off lane.  
     “Mr. Boxcars!” she called, watching a large, heavy-set man struggle to pull a wheelchair out of his trunk. She ran over to help, and he immediately stepped back.  
     “Eh, go ahead, your hands are smaller anyway,” he grumbled. Aradia twisted the chair carefully out of the sedan trunk and unfolded it on the sidewalk next to the back seat of the car, smiling at Tavros through the window. After getting him out and settled in his chair, Aradia began to push him towards the school building, Tavros’ brother Rufioh walking next to them.  
     “So what’s Mr. Boxcars doing watching you guys?” she asked the Nitram boys. Rufioh scoffed.  
     “Mom and Dad are on another business trip,” Tavros said.  
     “Tried to tell them, I’m 17 now and we don’t need a babysitter,” Rufioh added. “But they insist.”  
     “How’s Damara?” Tavros asked. Aradia’s smile fell, herself and Rufioh exchanging a knowing glance. The older boy ran a hand through his red-tipped Mohawk.  
     “Oh, you know…” Aradia said. She had no intent of getting into the gritty details. It was difficult enough going to Sollux with them.  
     “Crazy as ever?” Rufioh asked with a laugh. Aradia’s smile returned, and she laughed and nodded.

     Before long, Rufioh was pulled away by Equius’s brother Horuss, leaving Aradia and Tavros in the hall. Their lockers were near each other, the school being understanding enough to leave his on a lower row.  
     “So what’s your schedule?” Tavros asked, turning the combination into his lock. Aradia took a moment to wrestle with one of the papers in her binder to check her schedule.  
     “Um, Biology, Spanish, Geometry, English, P.E., and History,” she said as Tavros haphazardly shoved books into his locker. It was a basic list of what high school freshmen were supposed to take. Tavros looked at his own schedule, furrowing his brow for a moment as he muttered to himself, but then looked up and smiled at Aradia.  
     “Cool; we have English together!” he said with a grin. Aradia smiled back at him, glad to share the class with someone. She was sure with the sheer number of people she knew, they would share a fair number of classes together.  The bell rang and Aradia ran off to her biology class as Tavros scooted down the hall in the other direction, waving goodbye as he went.  
     “Bye Tavros; see you at lunch!” Aradia called.

     The first day of school was uneventful, for the most part. Aradia went to her first class and discovered that she shared biology with Sollux, Feferi, and _Gamzee_ , of all people. She decided to share the lab station with her two best friends, and did her best not to mind Gamzee joining them. He was nice enough, but a bit off-putting. Maybe it was the fact that his hair looked like he’d never brushed it in his life, or the fact that he was always higher than a kite, or the fact that he called someone a motherfucker at least once in every sentence, but Aradia never got to know him well, and she kind of didn’t want to, but she was now in a position where she might have to. The teacher handed out the syllabus students were required to get signatures for, and talked at them for the full hour. The rest of Aradia’s classes were basically the same; discovering who she shared what class with. Spanish was shared with Terezi and Eridan. She sat between Terezi and a blue-eyed boy she didn’t quite catch the name of. John Something, she thought. In Geometry, she was joined by Kanaya. She rejoined with Tavros in 4th period English, as well as Vriska, and after that, the three of them walked to lunch where they were joined by the rest of their friends. Aradia sat at the end of the bench next to Tavros, his chair turned into the table. Tavros gave a small wave to another girl from their English class as she took a seat among three others. Aradia thought she recognized one of them as John from her earlier class, but wasn’t quite sure. Vriska slid onto the bench beside Aradia.  
     “So, Aradia, how’s life?” she asked, drawing out her vowels as she tended to do.  Aradia shot a sideways glare at her. They’d spent so long at each other’s throats, and yet somehow managed to share the same group of friends.  
     “Living with Damara is just peachy compared to you sometimes,” Aradia said, her face emotionless.  
     “What? I’m awesome and you know it.”  
     “Mhm, mhm, and I’m sure Tavros just loves being paralyzed from your ‘awesomeness’.” Vriska’s mouth dropped into a scowl as she turned towards Aradia.  
     “You can’t prove shit, Droog. It was a freak accident and we all know it,” she hissed.  
     Aradia said nothing in response, letting Vriska implode with her own anger. Had Sollux and Gamzee not walked up at that moment, Vriska would have spent several minutes ranting at Aradia senselessly. The two joined them at the lunch table, Sollux forcing Vriska to move to let him take his seat next to Aradia. She picked at her food as her friends made idle chatter and the rest of them arrived. Before she knew it, lunch was over and it was back to class. Aradia thought about Vriska’s question as she sat through another 40 minutes of a teacher talking at the class- in P.E. of all things- with Equius and Nepeta next to her. How was life? Everything sucked, at the moment. School was a saving grace, and even then she knew Damara was around somewhere. She refused to give Vriska the real answer to the question, especially when people were around. She didn’t need her friends to give her sympathy.

     Aradia sat through her last class, history, sitting in the back with Karkat and exchanging complaints about how dumb it was, then made her way to the parking lot and waited for her dad to pick her up. The grass along the sidewalk tickled her ankles. He was running late. She knew this would happen, so she waited. It crossed her mind that Damara was nowhere to be seen, as she waited where they were supposed to wait for her dad after school ended. Aradia sighed, hanging her head. Things were utterly hopeless. Damara appeared next to her, a lit cigarette dangling between her lips. Aradia furrowed her brow, an overwhelming sense of doubt coming to the forefront of her mind.  
     “Damara, you’re late,” Aradia said, not even bothering to face her stepsister.  
     “I not late. Daniel late,” she answered, blowing her smoke in Aradia’s face. God, it smelt awful, worse than the weed Damara usually smoke. Aradia stood, facing Damara.  
     “Did you even go to school?” Damara shook her head ‘no’, still grinning. Aradia scowled at her, awaiting the day her father would realize what a mistake letting Damara and Hana into their lives was. Her teeth dug into the back of her lower lips as she wrestled her frustration into words. They weren’t words worth saying, though, and they bounced and screamed in her head waiting for someone to listen and understand, and sat in her throat like swallowing nails. Several minutes passed in silence, and when Daniel Droog’s car was spotted at the corner, Damara dropped her cigarette onto the sidewalk, squishing its embers out with her foot. Aradia threw her bag into the back of the car and got in, leaning against the window while Damara got in the passenger seat, resting her feet on the dashboard. Daniel shot a look at her, but said nothing for the moment.

     Aradia didn’t have many words during family meals anymore, but that evening was different. Hana, Daniel, Damara and Aradia all sat around their small, round table in the kitchen, eating soba Hana spent a good chunk of the evening making for them. Aradia picked at the noodles while everyone else ate enthusiastically.  
     “So, Aradia,” Hana said, “you’re taking Spanish at school?” Her accent was very distinct, but unlike Damara, Hana had taken the time to learn English when they first moved. Aradia looked up at her, burgundy eyes wide. She knew in her heart Hana was nice enough, if troubled. There was some involvement with Doctor Scratch in her childhood, and if what the rumors said were true, he was not one to be a parental figure. Still, Hana hardly tried to talk to Aradia, so it took her a bit by surprise.  
     “Uhm, yeah, I am… it’s a college required thing… foreign languages,” Aradia answered, her voice trailing a bit.  
     “It’s very nice that you are learning that,” Hana continued, ignoring Aradia’s blatant disinterest.  
     “Mm, wouldn’t call it all that interesting.”  
     “Languages are useful, Aradia, and communication; important.”    
     Aradia looked back up, her eyes glancing between Hana and her father. “I feel like you’re hinting at something, Hana…”  
     “We want you to learn Japanese,” Daniel intervened into the conversation. Aradia’s eyes went wide and Damara immediately started cackling.  
     “Don’t laugh young lady, you need to learn English as well,” Hana snapped at Damara.  
     “Dad are you serious?” Aradia screeched. He merely nodded.  
     “Mama, no!” Damara screamed.  
     “You live in America now, you need to know,” Hana answered back, remaining calm. Aradia gave up her fight. At the very least, she could hope that bridging the language gap would help her and Damara get along. As she went up to her room, she heard an argument explode in Japanese.  
     “Eigo wa anata ga watashi ga jissai ni gakkō ni iku koto o kitai shi, kono yobun’na, kore wa jūbun ni sono yō na kuso detarame sono warui kata sugiru? Kami no imaimashī watashi wa anata o chikau, anata ga kekkon shite kirainahito ga watashi o kirai!” Damara shouted.  
     “Anata wa sonoyō watashi ni hanashi o aete shinaide kudasai. Anata wa giron no eigo, owari o hanasu hitsuyō ga aru.”  
     Daniel just sighed.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not much goes on in this chapter, but I am just coming up with a few ideas. The next one or two chapters will probably just jump forward ahead a little bit to October, which has two major events I'm working on planning out: Homecoming and Halloween. I do have some fun things to say about that, and the plot will pick up a little bit. The title of this chapter was inspired by Panic! At the Disco, kind of adapted from their song Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks.


	3. Homecoming Is A Thing?

      Things did not get much better in the couple months that followed. School was the only place she saw any of her friends, as she no longer had time after school due to the Japanese class that Hana and her father forced her into, on top of her other homework. It pained her how many times she’d had to tell Sollux she was busy, or deny Tavros a round of Magic: The Gathering. And while she was able to understand more of what Damara said, a lot of it was still really foul things. Her dad was no closer to understanding how she felt, and she wasn’t getting any closer to Hana, either. Damara dropped out of school entirely, which meant she was constantly at the house, and very often Aradia would come home to an already-angry older stepsister. Hana was pressuring her to find a job if she wasn’t going to take school seriously, but Damara responded with a remarkably well-spoken “fuck you, mom.” The whole situation made Aradia want her old life back. She wanted her mother more than ever, even if she’d been too young to really know her at all.  
    It wasn’t right, the way she felt. She seemed to be slipping out of herself, old hobbies piquing no interest whatsoever. The backyard still had some of her old “archaeology sites”, and she tried talking herself into digging into them some more, but the mood never really struck her. A cloud hung over her head and all she could think to do was making sure she got her schoolwork done. Her Japanese worksheets were spread across her bed, and as she reviewed them, her computer pinged with a notification from Pesterchum. She stood up and sat by the computer, reading the bright pink messages as they appeared.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began pestering  apocalypseArisen [AA]

CC: Hey Aradia !  
CC: Just wanted to make shore everything was okay with you.  
CC: You’ve seemed all out of sorts lately.  
CC: And just kind of sad.  
CC: I don’t know, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better .  
CC: Shello?  
CC: Okay, I’ll let you be, then  
CC: But please remember you can talk to me, or any of us!

cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

  
     Feferi wasn’t the only one who’d been trying to get in contact with Aradia outside of school, though she was probably the most vocal about it. Aradia had messages from Kanaya, Tavros, Nepeta, even Karkat, who never seemed like he gave a shit about anything based on the way he was so angry all the time. But she didn’t answer any of them. She never answered, until Sollux messaged her.

  
twinArmageddons [TA]  began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

TA: hey.  
TA: wanna do something

     Aradia scanned the messages few times over before allowing herself access to the keyboard

TA: AA, you there?  
AA: yeah hi sollux  
AA: sorry  
AA: my mind is just  
AA: everywhere lately  
TA: yeah, i, uh...  
     

      There was a long pause between messages before Aradia’s computer pinged again.

  
TA: i'm kind of worried about you   
TA: you haven’t seemed yourself lately.  
AA: i know  
AA: im sorry  
TA: no, don't be sorry   
TA: just let yourself have some fun   
TA: come out with me tonight.  
AA: i guess i can do that. what did you have in mind sollux  
TA: a movie maybe?   
TA: i’ll see what’s playing, and one of my dads will take us.  
AA: alright sollux  
AA: ill see you later then

apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA]

    Aradia fell backwards onto her bed. Her unhappiness was so obvious to everyone. She hadn’t felt so lonely and dark since she first discovered her mother’s death. Still, it was kind-hearted of Sollux to make sure she was feeling okay. The two kids had always been drawn towards each other, both having strange attractions to death and “the doomed”, and hobbies that others might consider bizarre, and on multiple occasions the two had been jeered at, people assuming they were something of an item. While it wasn’t an unwelcome thought, neither of them acted on their attraction towards the other, and remained close friends. Though they weren’t a couple, Aradia still thought it would be nice to dress herself up a little bit, mostly in the hopes that it might make her feel better, but also secretly wanting Sollux to notice a little bit.  
     After having picked out a red dress and a grey cardigan to go over it, Aradia waited for Sollux downstairs, killing time on her phone. Before too long, the car horn beeped outside her house and Aradia raced out the door, a small smile on her face. Daniel came in as his daughter raced outside, calling out, “bye, Dad!” as she went. He placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her around immediately.  
     “Whoa, whoa, where’re ya goin’, sweetheart?” he asked.  
     “Um, Sollux and I were going to go see a movie,” Aradia answered, gesturing to the car waiting in the street for her. Daniel sneered as Sollux gave a small wave from the back seat.  
     “You ain’t goin’ on a date or anything, are ya?”  
     Aradia blushed a bit. “No, Dad, it’s not a date. Can I go now?”  
     “Yeah, I s’pose,” Daniel grumbled and stalked into the house as Aradia climbed into the back seat of Sollux’s dads’ van.  
     “Hi Sollux,” she said with a grin.  
     “Hey Aradia,” he answered, his cheeks brightening a bit.  
     “Are either of you assholes intending on including me in the conversation or am I just third-wheeling all your lovey-dovey bullshit all night?”  
     Aradia jumped in her seat as Karkat screeched at the two of them from the seat behind Sollux, who only blushed even more.  
     “Karkat shut up. I told you Aradia and I had plans,” Sollux hissed back at him. Aradia’s smile shrank, but didn’t disappear despite listening to the two boys bicker for the entire drive.

     The movie wasn’t anything special, and Karkat complained about every stupid thing he noticed, but Aradia ignored him. It was enough to be spending time with her friends. After the credits rolled, the three kids waited outside the theater for Sollux’s dad to return, and drive them home. Sollux was quiet as Karkat continued rambling about how awful the movie was, his bespectacled eyes intently filled with nervousness as his face continued to paint itself red. Aradia glanced at him, curious as to why she could see small beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. He shot a look at Karkat, who rolled his eyes before walking a few yards away.  
Sollux turned towards Aradia, giving her a small, nervous smile.  
     “Hey, Aradia…”  
     “Yeah, Sollux?”  
     Sollux grunted, clearing his throat a little bit. “Um… I- sorry about KK.”  
     “That’s alright. It was nice just to get out.”  
     “Yeah, I was hoping you would say something like that,” Sollux paused, rubbing the back of his neck. His throat choked up with hesitation as Aradia looked on, waiting for him to say something. “Uh, Aradia, there was a reason I asked you to come out with me, and, uh… I…” Aradia’s heart was pounding. She’d never felt so nervously excited, and while she thought she knew what Sollux was going to ask, she still wanted to hear him say it. “Uh… you know there’s a dance coming up like, next weekend? Homecoming or… something stupid like that…”  
     “No, I… didn’t hear about it,” Aradia mumbled. She’d been so drenched in her own discontent that school functions were the last thing she’d thought about.  
     “Oh, well, it’s dumb, but everyone’s going, so I thought…”  
     “Hey dipshit, spit it out!” Karkat yelled. Sollux lost any nerve he had and turned away from Aradia.  
     “KK, you’re such an asshole! I… just… nevermind, ah, it was stupid.” Sollux shoved his hands into his pockets and marched over to Karkat, speaking quietly to him. Aradia frowned, finding herself disappointed yet again.

     The ride back home was quiet, Aradia leaning against the window. They pulled up to her house first and her hand lingered on the door handle, as she waited for Sollux to say something.  
     “Uh, bye, Aradia. See you at school,” he murmured as she left the car.  
     “Yeah… see ya.”  
     She walked upstairs and straight into her room, laying her head down on the desk. Why’d she have to go and get her hopes up that something might happen between… she felt so horrendously foolish. Why would anyone show interest in a girl who hadn’t shown any interest in not only the boy, but in anything lately? Aradia just sat for a while, absorbing the quiet. Eventually she moved to her bed, listening to gentle music as she tried to escape into a book. Her dad came upstairs and knocked on the door, but she refused to answer. Her eyes closed, pushing back tears she denied were even forming. After a while, Aradia’s phone went off. Her eyes drifted towards it as it lit up with Sollux’s name, yet she didn’t bother to answer. It wasn’t until Aradia sat through (and hardly ate) dinner and shut herself back in her room that she checked the voicemail Sollux left for her.  
     “Hey… Aradia… log in to Minecraft. I’ll be on the server for most of the night, but I built something for you. Uhm, call me later, I guess.”  
     With a furrow of her eyebrows, Aradia slid into her computer desk chair and logged into Minecraft, but not before calling Sollux over Pesterchum. Voice calling was such a useful function for gaming, and yet none of her friends ever seemed to use it. Aradia managed to connect to her and Sollux’s Minecraft world, aptly named Honey-Made Apocalisp after a couple inside jokes, as Sollux answered her voice call.  
     “Hi Sollux,” she murmured.  
     “Hey! For some reason I didn’t think you would log on.”  
     “Well, you asked me to, didn’t you?”  
     “Yeah, I just thought, since you didn’t answer your phone…hey, listen, I’m sorry about earlier. I just--”  
     “Don’t worry about it, Sollux. Was there… something you wanted to show me?”  
     “Uh! Yeah! It’s behind the house a little ways,” Sollux lisped into his microphone. His on-screen avatar jumped and ran to the other side of their pixelated home, Aradia following. Written along the side of the hill in red, yellow, and blue wool was an abbreviated question: will u go 2 dance with me? Aradia gasped loudly, both hands quickly covering her mouth as her eyes widened with surprise.  
     “Sollux, I… I didn’t think…”  
     “I figured, since everyone else is going, you and I might just… tag along. I’m not much of a dancer, but I’d like to take you. What d’ya say, Aradia?”  
     “Uhm, I… Sollux, I… I’d love to go," Aradia said, letting a small smile form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wanted the whole dance to be one chapter along with this section, but it would have wound up being kind of... too long for me I guess? My chapters average around 2,000 and this is definitely over that so I didn't want to get too lengthy.  
> In parallel to Homestuck and Hivebent, this is a mix between Alive and Dead Aradia, but she kind of flip-flops in the sense that she wants to go have fun with her friends, and Sollux makes her happy, but she doesn't really enjoy school or family or studying, and the whole situation is really kind of grey for her. It's kind of personal because I went through a lot of that when I first started college, despite living at home still. I was always really overwhelmed and stressed and sad and my boyfriend made me happy but nothing else seemed to so I guess that's part of why it's coming out like this.  
> The next chapter will be the dance itself, and we'll get glimpses of what will happen in the other arcs, and the one after that will introduce some more definitive plot elements that represent the transition to fully "dead" Aradia, along with a thread that will lead to "Robo-Radia" in the environment of a Halloween party.  
> Anyway, consider this my Christmas gift to the fandom. Hope you're enjoying!


	4. Potential Dance-saster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia goes dress-shopping and enjoys Homecoming right until the end.

     “He asked you to homecoming?!” Hana gushed. Aradia had never seen her stepmother so excited about anything, while Damara simply glared at her from across the table. Aradia assumed nobody had asked her yet, which, while it was understandable for her to be upset to not have a date to her last homecoming, Aradia thought was not worth being a poor sport over. Homecoming was not a big deal to Aradia, and she probably would not have gone at all had Sollux not asked her out. Hana was utterly beaming. “Aradia, Damz, we’re going dress shopping!” Daniel groaned from the other room, hiding himself behind a newspaper in his lounge chair. It was rare that he heard the girls talk about “girly shit”, but when it did happen, he shut every word of it out.  
     “Um, yeah, we can go dress shopping,” Aradia agreed, her lack of enthusiasm hardly dampering Hana’s. Damara groaned.  
     “Okāsan wa, watashi wa doresu no kaimononiiku shitakunai. Dare demo damu dansu ni watashi o tazuneta,” she pleaded.  
      “Damara, don’t be silly. Go to the dance and spend time with your friends.” Damara responded with a roll of her eyes. “Now let’s go! We have to get you girls looking nice!”  
     “Wait, we’re going right now?” Aradia quipped. “Can I bring Feferi along? I’m sure she’s looking for a dress as well.”  
     Hana glanced at Aradia, still donning a giant smile. “Of course! The more, the merrier!” As kind as it seemed, Aradia felt there was something about the Peixeses that Hana didn’t care for. The three girls climbed into the car, Aradia taking the back seat behind Damara, who kept her earbuds in the whole time. It was unclear whether she was actually listening to music or feigning it to eavesdrop, but for once, Aradia didn’t care. Aradia texted Feferi the situation as they pulled out of the driveway, and she said she’d be ready whenever they arrived. For the first time in a while, Aradia felt pretty damn happy about something. It was exciting that Hana was taking them shopping. It was exciting that Aradia would get to spend the afternoon with Feferi as well, and it was exciting to be going to the dance with her friends, but mostly that Sollux had asked her in a very date-like manner, even if that meant he’d have to deal with her father.  
     Hana pulled in to Feferi’s driveway, and the tan girl hopped into the car with them.  
     “Hey Aradia!” she exclaimed, pulling her friend into a hug. That was the thing everybody liked about Feferi. She was always full of bubbly happiness, and it drew lots of people towards her. “Hi Damara, hi, Mrs. Droog!” Aradia gave a small laugh of a sigh and leaned back in her seat.

     When the four girls arrived at the mall, it was with excitement and smiles. Even Damara seemed to perk up a bit at the prospect of finding a nice dress to wear to homecoming. Feferi grabbed Aradia by the hand and darted around the mall walkways, oozing happiness at all the window displays.  
     “Ho my gosh, Aradia, that would look so pretty on you!” Feferi exclaimed, pointing at a stylized bomber jacket in the window of _Forever 21_. Aradia felt her face flush a bit.  
     “You think so?”  
     “Duhhhh. You’re like, super-pretty, Aradia. No wonder--” Feferi seemed to catch herself saying something she wasn’t supposed to, and swallowed the trailing thought back. Aradia furrowed her brow, but gave it no further thought.  
     “Alright, girls, we came for homecoming dresses,” Hana said, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. She steered them towards a specialty dress shop, Damara trailing behind her. The store was astounding, dresses of all cuts and shapes hanging from the walls and racks, organized by color. Once again, Feferi was overcome with joy at the sight of all the frills and gems and genuinely gorgeous dresses, though she focused mainly on the bright pink ones. Within ten or fifteen minutes, Feferi had gathered several dozen dresses to try on, while Aradia mulled over some red ones more slowly. Most of the dresses were on the shorter side, and while that felt appropriate for a dance like homecoming, at least in Aradia’s perspective, she wasn’t quite comfortable enough with herself to wear dresses quite that short. With an overwhelming amount of hesitation, Aradia pulled a longer dress off the rack, and mulled over a few others. Damara also lingered among the red dresses, though she’d already pulled a few off for herself. She glanced towards her stepsister, who was clearly having a hard time deciding on a dress. Damara grabbed a couple longer dresses, then tapped Aradia on the shoulder.  
     “You try these,” she muttered, thrusting the dresses towards Aradia.  
     “Um. Thanks…” Aradia murmured, before both girls proceeded towards the fitting room, where Feferi had been for quite a while.  
     “Aradia, I can’t decide!” Feferi shouted. Aradia stifled a laugh.  
     “Well, I can’t really, either,” Aradia answered. “How about we show each other the next ones?”  
     “Alright. I’ll be ready in a minute.”  
     “Okay. Um, Damara, did you want an opinion on anything?”  
     “Yes, I come out too.”  
      Aradia took a small breath as she stepped into her next option. It was one she’d picked up herself, though it didn’t look fantastic on the rack, but as she pulled it on, Aradia fell in love with the dress. It had a single thick shoulder strap that fell into an asymmetrical neckline, and the skirt that attached at the waist was slightly pleated, with a waving pattern that fell to the floor. In a split second, Aradia had made up her mind, stepping out of the dressing room.  
     “Feferi, you have to see this,” she said, her voice weighted with happiness. Feferi stepped out of her own room, her eyes lighting up.  
     “Aradia! Get that dress! Please!”  
     “Only if you get that one,” Aradia agreed, nodding at Feferi’s current choice. It was a short, strapless pink dress with its top bejeweled and its bottom covered by poofy tule twirled into giant flowers. It showed off Feferi’s legs, which were not only long but also muscular, in an incredibly flattering way. Feferi smiled at her friend.  
     “If you insist!”  
     Damara then also stepped out of her fitting room, a pleased smile plastered across her face.  
     “I get this one,” she said, showing off a tight strapless black dress. Its skirt puffed out a bit beneath the red sash tied around the middle.

     Once the three girls had decided on their dresses, and shown their selections off to Hana, they paid for them and left, heading to the food court for lunch. Feferi waved her mother’s credit card around like it was nothing, and bought herself an expensive few sushi rolls, which she offered Damara a few bites of, while Aradia, Damara and Hana just got _Hot Dog on A Stick._ It wasn’t a favorite to any of them, but Aradia didn’t mind. At least the fries were good. As they all sat around a small table, Feferi began talking about her homecoming plans.  
     “Aradia, I’m having everyone come to my house before Homecoming to take pictures. You should come too! I mean, Sollux said he would ask you if you wanted to, but I’d really like you to go as well!”  
     “Wait, the dance is this Saturday, right?” Aradia asked. “As in, a week from yesterday?” Feferi nodded.  
     “Yeah, and we’re all getting dinner before too. Or at least, that was the plan, but I think everybody is okay with that.”  
     “Who’s all going?”  
     “Tavros, and I think he invited this girl Jade. He meant it as a date, but you know how he is, and then she asked if her other friends could come along so… Tavros, Jade, and John, Rose and Dave I think? Then Sollux and you, I hope, and Karkat, who I think is ‘going’ with Terezi. Nepeta and Equius, Kanaya, Vriska, Eridan’s coming with me, and Gamzee. The whole gang!”  
     “Wow. Sounds… fun,” Aradia said. It did, but the sheer number of people would make pictures a damn nightmare.  
     “So you’ll go?!”  
     “Of course, Fef. If you insist.”  
     “Yay! Damara, you should come too! My sister is having everyone from your guys’es class come over beforehand, too, but we’re eating at different restaurants.”  
     “Include Horuss and Rufioh? Pass,” Damara snarled. Hana nudged her shoulder, and Damara let out a loud groan. “Fine. I go. Though not a fan of Meenah either. Feferi shrugged the second comment off, knowing her sister could be a bit brash.

 

     Aradia drudged her way through another week of school, but for once she did so with cheer. Jade and her friends had slowly drifted towards Aradia’s own friends during lunch, and the 12 integrated to become 16, and occasionally, 19, with the addition of a Jake, a Jane, and a Dirk. She thought it odd how all her friends somehow had siblings that were also all the same age, but it wasn’t an important detail to dwell on. Soon, Saturday came, and Aradia spent a good two or three hours just prepping herself. It was rare that Aradia wore makeup, but this was a special occasion. Hana helped her arrange her thick mess of hair into a wide braid that flowed down her shoulder, and another, smaller braid that laid across the top of her head like a hairband. She shaded her eyes with a red eyeshadow that faded to brown on the outside, and applied a thin amount of eyeliner. The finishing touch, in Aradia’s eyes, was a bright red lipstick. It made her eyes pop, or at least that was what Hana said. Finally, in her new dress and a borrowed pair of small, black heels, Aradia was ready to go. She waited for Damara to finish getting ready so they could both go to the Peixes’ house at the same time, even if that meant suffering through Damara’s driving.  
     Aradia sat at the kitchen table waiting for Damara to finish herself when her father entered the room. He saw her as she looked up at him, and a soft smile fell upon his face.  
     “That’s my girl,” he muttered. Never one to get emotional, Daniel excused himself into the other room as Hana came down the stairs with her camera. She began buzzing around Aradia like a fly, the camera flash going off every few seconds before Damara came running down the stairs after her. Aradia thought her stepsister looked gorgeous, keeping a red theme throughout her makeup, but also embracing her ethnicity with the style of it. Her hair was twisted into a small bun at the back of her head, but other than that, kept perfectly straight.  
     “Mama, stop with the camera,” Damara said, Hana playing keep-away-the-camera with her. Damara rolled her eyes, then turned and slipped an elbow around Aradia’s, pulling her backwards towards the door. “Fine, come. We late.”  
     “Wait!” Hana called, “I want a picture of you two together.” Damara turned around and gave a plainly fake smile long enough to satisfy Hana’s photo-taking itch, then drug Aradia out to the car. It was clear Damara wasn’t thrilled about the situation at all, but she knew she could handle it. She always handled it, though the quality of her “handling” varied. It usually depended on who you asked.  
     Luckily for Aradia, Feferi didn’t live very far away. Damara’s haphazard driving skills and disregard for basic safety always resulted in quite unpleasant drives. Aradia leapt out of the car as quickly as she could manage to, and darted to the front door, which had been left slightly open. Aradia let herself in, quickly spotting her friends in the backyard. They were carefully arranged a safe distance from the large pool, so Aradia slipped out the glass door separating inside from outside and joined them, creeping in next to Sollux.  
     “Hey you,” she said, gripping his hand with a bit of a smirk. Sollux jumped.  
     “Oh, Aradia! I didn’t see you come in,” he said. He smiled widely at her, his eyes shining with happiness. Aradia smiled back for a brief moment, before noticing his eyes, a surprisingly dull brown when compared to his usual dynamic, oddly-colored eyes. Her smile vanished.  
     “Sollux, are you wearing colored contacts?”  
     “Um… yeah. Do you like them?”  
     She couldn’t answer right away, trying to formulate an answer before opening her mouth.  
     “I… always like your eyes, Sollux,” Aradia said, looking away to prevent him from seeing her blush.  
     “Oh…” was all he managed to spurt out before both of them focused back on the horde of parents taking pictures. So many pictures. Pictures of the group as a whole, pictures of those going as a date, pictures of siblings together, pictures of the boys and pictures of the girls, an hour and a half just of pictures. When it was finally said and done, Feferi and her friends split off from her sister and her friends, each group caravanning to the restaurant of their choosing. Naturally, Feferi chose a seafood place.  
     Dinner was loud and crowded, but Aradia managed to have enough fun, though she still wasn’t driven to talk to any of her new ‘friends’. Sitting between Tavros and Sollux was just fine with her, though Tavros was distracted by Vriska most of the evening. Before too long, the group headed over to the high school for the dance itself. Aradia thought it was a bit lame to have the dance in the high school gym, but the school didn’t have enough funding, or enough that was allocated for anything other than athletics, so it was what it was.

     Aradia had never seen anything like it. A mob of students jumping and throbbing to the beat of the music echoing through the room, the floor vibrating, pumping with the bass. A small smile came across her face as she pulled Sollux by the hand into the mosh of people. The two danced to the beat for hours, occasionally being joined by the others, bumping and jumping. While Sollux took a break, Terezi jokingly grinded on Aradia and the two laughed once the song ended, Vriska cackling somewhere nearby. Everyone came and went, having a good time as they did so.  
     Aradia rejoined Sollux after that song, taking a break with him and sitting in the chairs. There was a glass of punch waiting for her.  
     “Did you get this for me?” she asked Sollux as she took a seat next to him.  
     “Mhm. Thought you might be thirsty after all that dancing.”  
     “It is pretty warm out there.”  
     “Mhm…” Sollux’s voice trailed off, his gaze focused on Aradia. He struggled to keep his toothy smile hidden, attempting to keep his braces out of sight. Aradia giggled.  
      The two of them just sat and talked for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. Eventually, Aradia cleared her throat.  
     “Do you want to go dance again?” she asked.  
     Sollux let out a small sigh. “Nah, I’m all good on the crowd-surfing front,” he muttered. “A little too busy out there for me. I think I’m done dancing for the night.”  
     “If that’s the case,” a gruff voice came from behind Aradia. She saw Sollux’s distinct grimace, “might I enjoy a dance with the lady?” Aradia turned. Standing behind her in a deep blue dress shirt and slim black jacket was none other than the frighteningly tall Equius Zahhak. She tilted her head sideways. Sure, she and Equius were friends, or at the very least, shared friends, but this seemed really out of character for the boy. Disregarding this, Aradia gave a small nod and took to the dance floor with him, looking back at Sollux, now in a disgruntled slump in his chair, and mouthed, ‘I’ll be back soon’ to him.  
     Equius was surprisingly graceful for his size, twirling Aradia to the pop music. She spun and whirled and laughed with him, finding herself having an unexpectedly good time.  
     “I couldn’t help but notice you tonight,” he said in his low voice. Aradia looked up at him. “You look quite stunning in that dress, if I may say so, Miss Droog.”  
     “Wow. Um, thanks,” she said. It was a nice compliment, but Aradia found it a bit off-putting nonetheless. Perhaps that was because she found Equius a bit off-putting. Their dancing only lasted a few minutes, and when the song ended, Equius gave a gracious ‘thank you’, and stalked off into the crowd, presumably to find Nepeta. Aradia returned to the table where she and Sollux had been sitting, as the DJ announced he’d soon be playing a song suitable for a slow-dance. As nervous as she was, Aradia wanted Sollux to slow-dance with her, but he wasn’t at their seats. She furrowed her brow for a moment, but decided to sit and wait. He was easily the person she had the most fun with, and she thought it silly to get lost on the dance floor with everyone else and make him look for her among the crowd when she returned.  
     Footsteps came behind her. Aradia stood, expecting it to be Sollux. Instead, when she turned, she saw the angry face of Damara. Before she even had a moment to react, a harsh hand struck her face, leaving it stinging.  
     “You dance with Zahhak boy?! Stay away from Zahhaks…they bad news,” Damara shouted over the pounding music, and stormed off without another word. Aradia stood by the table alone, holding a hand to her wounded cheek with tears forming in her eyes. Everything seemed to fall to silence around her until she felt a hand on her shoulder and was shaken back to reality.  
     “Aradia? Aradia, are you okay?” Sollux said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “Did something happen? Come on, let’s go sit outside.” Her legs moved stiffly as he tried to walk her towards the door, and then the tears overflowed. Through her own crying, she managed to stammer out a few short sentences.  
     “Damara just… Sollux, sorry, I- I have to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know what to say about this one. I definitely miscalculated when I said the last chapter was over my average, but I know for a fact this one is. I didn't want to split it up anymore though.  
> Aradia, Damara, and Feferi's dresses were inspired by ones I found online.  
> [Aradia's dress](http://www.dresses1000.com/one-shoulder-red-aline-floorlength-prom-dress-p-7861.html)  
> [Damara's dress ](http://www.homecomingdresses100.com/lace-up-black-and-red-beaded-short-homecoming-dresses-on-sale-g783.html)  
> [ Feferi's dress ](http://www.luxpromdresses.com/strapless-short-hot-pink-prom-dresses-2014/) (first one)
> 
> Damara's dialogue at the beginning: I guess. But I don't want to go to the dance, mom!
> 
> I thought about writing some on Damara's homecoming experience, but she spent most of the time bored with the whole thing. She probably shared a couple dances with Porrim and maybe one with Rufioh, but based on her dislike of quite a few people, probably had a shitty time during pictures and dinner. There's a scene with Rufioh she has but I'll probably put that in the next part, for The Nitrams. 
> 
> The next chapter will likely skip to Halloween, because that's the next time shit goes down. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you've enjoyed this so far! Again, feel free to hit me up with any questions either here or at [my tumblr](www.serkkiss.tumblr.com)


	5. Halloween (AKA The Night of Many Firsts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tavros throws a Halloween party and Vriska highly endorses a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven

Aradia walked home, her feet sore from walking bare on the pavement as her heels clinked against each other while she carried them. After a while, the tears dried from her cheeks and all she felt was the cold air around her shoulders. There was no more room for sadness. She couldn’t bear the emotional pain anymore. Would it be better to simply feel nothing at all?  
     She slipped her house key into the front lock and gently pushed the door open, being careful not to wake Hana or her father as she crept into her room and collapsed on the bed. She felt one tear roll down her cheek as she stared at the ceiling.  
     “Mom… I miss you,” she said to nobody. “I miss you and I need you… I don’t like what’s happening right now. I don’t like this new sister, I don’t like not having you here, and I don’t like growing up without- without my mother!” She started freely crying again, sobs convulsing in her chest. She curled up into herself, burying herself in blankets and crying herself to sleep without even changing out of her dress.

     When Aradia woke up the next morning, her heart was filled with numbness. She put on some old pajamas just to spend the day at home, and checked her cell phone briefly. It was flooded with text messages from her friends, most notably Sollux, Feferi, and Tavros, though there were even a few from Terezi. Aradia sighed, choosing to not even read them. There was no point in reliving the events of Homecoming, or at least, the bad moments. Because most of the night was insanely fun, but not quite what she had hoped. There was no point in feeling sad anymore, not in Aradia’s mind. She was tired of opening herself up to so much hurt. Light had barely begun peeking in through her window, and it suited her mood. The sting in her cheek had turned to numbness, and it was all she could feel: numb.  
     Aradia didn’t leave her room that day. She spent the Sunday in her pajamas, marathoning through one of her favorite shows: _Friends_. But the usual warmth and happiness it gave her wasn’t there. Her father came up a couple times, to make sure she was okay, but Aradia never went to the door for him. She said she was fine, and he said fine, and that was that.  
    Aradia maintained this silence through school the next day. Several people asked her what happened at homecoming, and the response was always, “Nothing. I just needed to go home earlier than I thought.” At lunch, she sat away from everyone else, not really eating anything, but just picking at her food. There were a few moments in which she glanced up at the table all her friends were sitting at, and occasionally saw Sollux looking at her from afar. He never once approached, though, and Aradia found herself wondering what he thought of her. She’d never wanted to embarrass him, and felt a twinge of shame as she thought about how he must have looked, standing there with his date having just run out on him. How awful that must have felt. But then Sollux would look away, and Aradia felt as awful as he must have. She’d embarrassed him and blown her only chance, and she felt so incredibly foolish. But the more she thought about it, the less she felt bad. It wouldn’t matter, in the long run. Damara was the one who’d caused the whole thing, and Aradia could guarantee her stepsister felt no guilt whatsoever.  
     After lunch, Aradia made her way to gym class. As she stood changing out at her locker, she spotted Nepeta peering around the corner at her. A curious eyebrow shot up from the small girl, but Aradia just kept to herself.  
     “Hey Aradia,” Nepeta said, nearly purring as she did so. Aradia turned towards her. “You weren’t at lunch today.”  
     “How kind of you to notice,” Aradia muttered, pulling her gym shirt on.  
     “Is everything okay?”  
     “Yes, Nep, everything is fine. I’m having a rough time at home lately.”  
     “Oh nooo, Aradia, that’s no good! Do you need someone to talk to?”  
     “No, it’s fine. I’m fine. Besides, don’t you think this is kind of a strange place to talk about my mental welfare?”  
     “Well, I just wanted to check on you,” Nepeta said with a toothy smile.  
     “Why?” Aradia asked, her voice deadpan.  
     “Beclaws you’re my friend, silly!” Aradia rolled her eyes. She didn’t understand the whole cat pun thing, though Nepeta tended to do it frequently. “And Equius asked me to, heehee.”  
     “Oh.”  
     Nepeta grew quiet for a moment before raising her olive green eyes back to Aradia. “Um, Tavros told me in Biology class this morning he was thinking about throwing a Halloween party, or a get-together or something… and we talked about it at lunch and uhm, he asked me to mention it to you.”  
     Aradia met Nepeta’s nervous glance. “That might be nice,” she murmured.  
     “So… you’ll go?”  
     Aradia shrugged. “Halloween’s a few weeks away.”  
     “Aradia, it’s next Saturday.”  
     “Oh.”  
     The two girls studied each other for several quiet minutes, until they were ushered out of the locker room by Ms. Mendicant to do their stretches for the morning. P.E. wasn’t a horrible class, but Aradia certainly didn’t enjoy it. For one, they were all assigned numbers based on their last name, so Aradia was separated from the only two people in the class she knew very well. Equius was at the back of the class and Nepeta was a few rows back, leaving Aradia surrounded by mostly idiot boys who found it acceptable to harass her because she wasn’t the skinniest of girls. But it didn’t bother her very much that day, or any of the days for the rest of the week. In fact, Aradia shut most of the days out, until the Saturday morning she realized it was Halloween.  
     She’d promised Tavros she would go over early and help him set up things for the party, so she threw her costume from the year before into a bag, along with sleep-over essentials, and got a ride from her dad. It wasn’t a long drive. The Nitrams only lived a few streets down, actually, but Daniel usually offered a ride anyway, even more so if he wanted to talk to Aradia. Today was one of those days. He let out a heavy sigh as they pulled up outside Tavros’ house. Aradia looked over at him.  
     “…Dad?”  
     “Aradia, you know I love you, right?”  
     “Of course I know that.”  
     “You know you can come to me about anything, right?”  
     “Um, yeah…”  
     There was a pause. Daniel sighed again.  
     “Do I tell you that enough?” Aradia faltered as her father continued to speak. “I’m sorry, I just… I’m worried about ya, kid. You ain’t been yourself lately. Good to see ya gettin’ out more.”  
     “Dad, don’t be sorry. It’s just been… hard.”  
     “I know it ain’t easy, hon. But you shouldn’t be afraid to come talk to your old man, alright?”  
     “Alright,” Aradia answered, with the smallest glimpse of a smile.  
     “Alright. Now have a good time tonight, kiddo.”

     Aradia slung her bag over her shoulder and walked up to Tavros’ door, knocking to the rhythm of _Shave and a Haircut._ After a few moments and the slight squeak of wheels stopping near the door, Tavros knocked back _Two Bits_ before swinging the door open to let Aradia in.  
     “Hey Tav,” Aradia said, crossing the threshold.  
     “Hi, Aradia,” Tavros answered, smiling. “You seem, um, better.”  
     “I’m okay.”  
     “Thanks for helping me set everything up.”  
     “No problem,” Aradia said as the two of them moved into the kitchen, where tons of unopened bags of snacks and candy lay among several various sized bowls all strewn across the counter and tables. Aradia glanced around at the sheer amount of food. “Did, ah, Rufioh help you find everything?” she asked, muffling a snicker.  
     “What’s so funny?” Tavros asked, his voice raising to an unusually indignant level.  
     “It’s just a lot of food, Tav. How many people are there supposed to be coming tonight?”  
     “Um, like 16? And Rufioh.”  
     “He’s not doing anything for Halloween? Weird.”  
     “No, Horuss invited him to do something but he said no.”  
     “Horuss?” Aradia asked.  
     “Oh, yeah, Horuss. He’s Equius’s brother. Rufioh used to hang out with him a lot last year, but he hasn’t been as much lately.”  
     “Weird.”  
     The two of them began setting up for the party, Aradia handling the decorations while Tavros dealt with the snacks and began moving on to set up some games.  
     “So what’s your deal with Sollux?” Tavros asked. Aradia faltered, nearly dropping the ribbon in her hand.  
     “What deal?”  
     “You guys went to Homecoming together. I thought something was, um, happening between you two. In a, um, romantic way, I mean.”  
     Aradia rolled her eyes, though she was still facing the wall, so Tavros didn’t catch it. “I didn’t think of you as a gossip, Tav.”  
     Tavros giggled. “It’s not that. I was just wondering because I’m having my own girl problems.”  
     “What, Vriska?”  
     “Well, yeah, but, uhm, Jade also. I asked her to Homecoming but I don’t think she thought of it as a date type thing, and she, um, invited all her other friends. And then, uh, I tried to tell her I liked her, um, on Pesterchum the other day.”  
     “What did she say?”  
     “That it was flattering, I guess, but she didn’t really think of me that way? She said, ‘we don’t really know each other that well, and it’s kind of coming out of nowhere’, so, yeah.”  
     “Okay, well, she’s not interested, then.”  
     “That’s it?”  
     “Mhm,” Aradia murmured, turning around to face Tavros. He had a look on his face like that of a wounded puppy. He shook it off and met Aradia’s eyes again.  
     “Okay,” he murmured. “Anyway… people should be here soon. I’m going to go get my costume on. Uh, you can change in the bathroom if you want.”  
     Aradia nodded, then took her bag into the bathroom.

     She studied herself in the mirror. The costume was from the year before, and it fit her a bit tighter than it used to. Still, once the fedora was placed atop her head, she felt a surge of happiness. Indiana Jones was back in action! Aradia paced back into the kitchen, grazing on the various snacks as she waited for the sound of Tavros coming down his ramp. Eventually he joined her in the kitchen, dressed as Peter Pan. They started some music, the first song being _Spooky Scary Skeletons_ , and Aradia bounced to the music. There was something about skeletons that appealed to her, and she began to dance to the rhythm, laughing as she spun Tavros’ chair in a circle. He laughed, too, and looked at Aradia.  
     “I’m glad you’re having a good time!” he said. Aradia grinned back.  
     “I feel really good right now,” she said. And it was true. It was well known among their circle that Halloween was Aradia’s favorite holiday, but she hardly expected to feel this great. Aradia pondered it. Maybe isolating herself from her friends hadn’t been the smartest move. They cheered her up, which was something that she’d needed lately, but deprived herself of.

     The doorbell rang, and Aradia turned the music down to a level more akin to background noise while Tavros wheeled himself into the other room to answer. In came Vriska and Terezi, Vriska dressed as a pirate and Terezi donning a cop costume. For the next half an hour, a steady stream of people came in and the music was turned back up, the Nitram living room slowly turning into a dance floor. Eventually, pizzas were ordered. A handful of people moved outside and bobbed for apples, until it got too dark. Aradia mostly stayed inside, and when she got tired of dancing, she plopped onto Tavros’ couch, a glass of lemonade in her hand, and Sollux on the other couch. After a few moments, Karkat came in and pulled him away. "Come on, fucktruck, we're playing Bobbing for Apples," Karkat said, and the two boys disappeared outside. Aradia sighed. She hoped Sollux wasn't avoiding her.  
     Suddenly the music was gone, Vriska’s hand at the volume dial. “Hey losers! Come on, we’re starting another game in here.” Slowly, people began gravitating towards her, and shuffling into the other room. Aradia shrugged and followed suit, though she wasn’t sure she really wanted to be a part of a game Vriska was organizing. As it turned out, that instinct was right, as Vriska was insisting they play ‘7 Minutes in Heaven’.  
     “Vriska, please, this is so ridiculous,” Sollux spoke up. “Besides, what the fuck has this got to do with Halloween?”  
     “Shut your lispy mouth, asshat,” Vriska snapped back at him. “You don’t _have_ to play, but there’s always the chance for some alone time with the freaky girl of your dreams,” she pointedly tilted her head towards Aradia. Sollux met Aradia’s eyes for a split second, then darted back down to the carpet. “I have taken the liberty of putting all the lady’s names into this hat, and all the boys into Terezi’s,” Vriska said. “Tavros, if you would do the honors?” She tilted her pirate hat down for Tavros to reach his hand in. He cleared his throat before reading it off.  
     “Um, Aradia…?” his voice raised as though he were asking a question. Aradia’s eyes widened as Vriska’s hand came to her shoulder, ushering her into the closet.  
     “Wait, what?”  
     “Don’t worry, Miss Droog, your man will be joining you shortly.” With a short, sharp laugh, Vriska shut the closet door behind Aradia, who was surrounded by darkness except for a small sliver under the door. A few silent moments passed, Aradia leaning back on the wall, before the door was thrust open again and another body entered the area. She’d only caught a glimpse of his face before all light was removed again, but Aradia knew it was Equius. She didn’t say anything, and neither did he. The silence between them was deafening, and eventually, Aradia spoke.  
     “I had, uhm, a good time dancing with you at Homecoming,” she muttered. Equius made a muffled sort of grunting sound as he shuffled in place.  
     “Yes, it was quite nice. You looked… beautiful that night,” he said, moving a bit closer. Aradia blushed.  
     “Really?”  
     “Yes, I was surprised that Mr. Captor did not wish to dance with you more.” His hands came to her waist. Aradia looked up at him, surprised.  
     “Did he say something to you?”  
     “Not exactly, but I don’t believe he appreciates you as much as he should.”  
     Aradia looked down, trying not to let Equius’s words sting. He brought a finger to her chin, bringing her gaze to his, leaning in and kissing her.  
      Aradia began to pull away, but Equius’s lips were surprisingly gentle, and she accepted what was happening, even falling into the kiss a bit, though her eyes never quite fluttered close, and it never quite felt like how she imagined a first kiss. Equius pulled away.  
     “Miss Droog, I would be honored if you would accompany me on a date.”  
     “I- what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY so um sorry for taking so long with this. I've gone back to school and have a new job and things are taking me longer to get out. That being said, I'm pretty pleased with this chapter. It's actual plot things!  
> There will be another chapter for Halloween, as other things happen that night not involving Equius. There's also a lot happening that Aradia isn't a part of so "the night of many firsts" has more firsts from other perspectives. Aradia's first was the kiss, but yeah other stuff too.
> 
> EVERYONE'S COSTUME:  
> Aradia- Indiana Jones  
> Tavros- Peter Pan  
> Sollux- Two-Face  
> Karkat- (badly wrapped) Mummy  
> Nepeta- Cat-Woman  
> Kanaya- Vampire  
> Terezi- Cop  
> Vriska- Pirate  
> Equius- idk probably a robot  
> Gamzee- IT (that evil clown thing)  
> Eridan- Harry Potter or some shit  
> Feferi- A Mermaid  
> John- GHOSTBUSTER  
> Dave- probably a bad pumpkin costume  
> Rose- Ursula? (she'd hang out with Fef making bad mermaid jokes)  
> Jade- Witch


	6. Don't Fuck With Ouija Boards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would a dream of a bad memory be classified as a nightmare?

     The closet door was thrust open, Aradia and Equius both blushing at their close proximity to each other. Aradia’s eyes darted to Sollux first, whose face wore a crumpled frown. He fidgeted with his glasses before darting away. Aradia looked down. Equius’s hand appeared back at her waist, pulling her closer to his side as they walked out of the closet past Vriska, a victorious smirk across her face. Aradia glanced sideways at her, then at Equius as his hand left her waist and tried holding her hand instead. She leaned away. Equius looked at her with some concern, but didn’t press the situation further as Aradia slunk into the other room, where she’d seen Sollux disappear to. He leaned over the sink, glasses on the counter next to him. He looked crumpled and defeated, struggling to compose himself, not noticing Aradia.  
     “Sollux…” she murmured. He jumped to attention, straightening himself out.  
     “Hey, AA,” he answered, trying to remain cool. But he hardly ever used that nickname anymore, except when he was embarrassed. Hearing it so casually again felt like a step backwards in their friendship. “How was your, uh, time in ‘heaven’?”  
      “Nothing special. Equius asked me out, though.”  
      “I see,” Sollux said, his words hanging in the air. The two stood on opposite sides of the counter, Sollux’s heterochromatic eyes baring into Aradia. She wanted to say something, wanted to explain what had happened. Which was nothing, not to her. She didn’t say she’d go out with Equius, but he certainly took it that way. The truth was, she hadn’t known what to say. Nobody had ever asked her out, on a date, and she didn’t know what to say. She’d always expected the first guy to ask her out would be Sollux, because it was obvious to both of them, even if they’d never act on it, that they wanted to be with each other. But Equius asked first, and Aradia hadn’t been given an opportunity to say no before Vriska’d yanked the doors open.  
     Aradia couldn’t bring herself to say anything else, and Sollux turned on his heel and walked out of the room again, leaving Aradia in the quiet, staring at the place he’d been moments before. The party seemed to resume out of nowhere, the rest of her friends filling up the empty space and the silence being reoccupied by music.

      Aradia lay awake that night, Tavros’ guest room occupied by all the ladies who’d chosen to spend the night. Jade and Rose and John and Dave left, but not until a little after midnight, and Feferi had a curfew, but other than that, everyone stayed the night. At least to Aradia’s knowledge. But she herself couldn’t fall asleep. She glanced around the room at the four still, sleeping bodies. What she would give for things to go back to normal. With a quiet sigh, she carefully got to her feet and padded out of the room.  
     Aradia knew Tavros’ house well enough and felt comfortable enough there to make herself a mug of hot chocolate and sit herself on the couch, which was exactly her intention, but as she came into the kitchen, she was startled to find someone already down there. Rufioh was quietly watching television from the cushy armchair, and caught Aradia staring like a deer in headlights. He paused his show and stood from the chair.  
     “Hey Aradia,” he said, coming into the kitchen.  
     “Oh…hey…Rufioh,” Aradia answered, her voice trailing between every word. Aradia had been friends with Tavros for long enough to feel comfortable around his brother. He’d taught them how to play Pokemon when they were younger, and he never hesitated to join in their card games, and Aradia would just as easily count him as a friend. He was way easier to get along with than some of her other friend’s siblings, not an intimidating fellow like Mituna. (Well, okay, she wouldn’t say Mituna was _intimidating_ , but he had an awful, awful time with social interaction and was difficult to talk to.)  
     “What’s goin’ on, li’l Droog? Thought you guys were all asleep,” Rufioh asked. His intuition brought him to prepare two glasses of hot chocolate, and he held the conversation with Aradia as she stood blankly in the kitchen, watching him pour the instant powder into a pair of mugs.  
     “I couldn’t sleep. Mind’s too occupied,” Aradia said, her voice becoming hollow and tinny.  
     “Mm,” Rufioh hummed. He popped the hot chocolate out of the microwave and pushed a mug into Aradia’s hands. She took it with a light grip, the warmness in such contrast to her cool hands. “Come on, let’s talk. If it helps any, I couldn’t sleep either.”  
      Aradia took a seat at the kitchen table, Rufioh sitting across from her. At first she couldn’t say anything, and Rufioh just let her stay quiet, sipping on his hot chocolate. And then it all came crashing down.  
     “Rufioh, where do I even start?” Aradia cried, tears pooling on the brims of her eyes. “I…”  
     “Take a breath. It’s alright.”  
     Aradia took a few slow breaths, making sure her exhalation was slow and calm. “Okay, okay. Um, my dad remarried a few months ago. And… my stepmom is nice and all, but I feel like she hasn’t really bothered to get to know me. She’s not really, ya know, she doesn’t seem like she’s great with kids. Which is fine, I guess. She supposedly had a really crappy childhood herself, and I guess doesn’t know how to handle people my age. But she tries and I try to give her credit for that. Hell, she took Fef and I shopping for Homecoming dresses. It’s… augh, it’s her daughter I can’t stand. She smokes and does drugs and, like, dropped out of school… she’s rude and curses at me and refuses to speak proper English even though I _know_ she’s been learning…”  
      Rufioh’s brow creased more and more as Aradia told her about the family dynamic. “Wait. Your stepsister’s Damara, isn’t she?”  
“Yeah.”  
Rufioh’s eyes shot wide open. “Thought I’d heard you mention that. Makes sense, though.”  
     “Huh?”  
     “Damara and I used to date. She’s a crazy chick, doll. Nearly ripped my head off a coupl’a times.”  
     “Was she really that bad when you two were dating?”  
     “Um…no,” Rufioh answered as though he were having an epiphany. “It wasn’t until things were ending that she started acting like that. Before, she was real timid, and nice. We’d sit and watch anime together, and like… couple stuff, ya know?” Aradia nodded. “But she got, like, weirdly jealous of my friends.” Rufioh’s cheeks slowly grew more intensely red. Aradia was able to pick up on the fact that Rufioh wasn’t telling the whole story, but she didn’t have the energy to push him any further. “Hey, Damz and I… we still talk. We’re still friends. Tell her I say hey.” Aradia nodded again. “Anything else buggin’ you?”  
     Aradia sighed. “Just the story of my life. Relationship issues. Equius asked me out tonight and I didn’t know how to say no, and I think I really hurt Sollux.”  
     “Ah. Been there too, doll, and I’m gonna share my motto with you: Never Panic. You’ll figure it out, I’m sure.”  
     “Have you?”  
     Rufioh ran a nervous hand through his red-tipped Mohawk. “Working on it. Zahhaks…man, they’re tricky. But hey, both of us should probably get some shut-eye.”  
     Aradia nodded again, traipsing back upstairs as Rufioh disappeared into his room on the bottom floor, and to her own surprise, fell asleep the second she hit the pillow.

     Aradia dreamt, but it wasn’t the same as her regular dreams. Her dreams were usually haunting, echoes of the voices lurking around, the same ones that had been following her for… how long had it even been now? Years?  
     That night’s dream was more of a memory, a memory of when the voices in her head first appeared. They came and went, and she thought they were finally gone. Despite everything since the wedding, she hadn’t heard them. She’d never listened to them when they were there, though. Not since that first night. It had happened years earlier, but the memory played through her mind that night like a projection on a screen.  
     It was about a month after the death of a Mrs. Rachel Droog. Aradia was 9, sitting in the backyard with her spade in the dirt on an ‘archaeological dig’, which her father never minded. But she wasn’t really invested in what she was doing. She was crying, tears rolling down her cheeks and falling into the dirt underneath her, not paying attention to much else. Somehow she was vaguely aware of her front door opening, a few muffled voices joining her father’s, and then the back door opening.  
     “Hi, uhm, Aradia?”  
     She looked up at him with a start. A dorky-looking boy stood in front of her, his face covered with a messy, stringy mop of black hair. He wore an oversized yellow t-shirt with a giant bee on it, baggy jeans that, even cuffed, were too long for his legs, and mismatched sneakers. He peered at her from behind round glasses, offering a hand to help her out of the small pit she was sitting in. Aradia stood up herself, brushing dirt from her pants and wiping the tear streaks off her face.  
     “Hi…” she murmured. She recognized him from class but didn’t really know him. “What’s your name?”  
     Sollux fumbled for a moment, giving a slight bow. “M’names Sollux. Captor.” A very noticeable lisp escaped his lips.  
     “Tholluckth?” Aradia giggled a bit. Sollux’s cheeks flushed bright right.  
     “Don’t make fun of me!”  
     “Sorry,” Aradia said, studying him a bit. “Your eyes don’t match.” Sollux didn’t say anything, instead tugging on the hem of his t-shirt in a futile attempt to hide his eyes. “Sorry,” Aradia said again.  
     “S’alright. Uhm, I guess my dads know your dad, and I heard about your mom.”  
     “Oh.”  
     “They told me to come out and talk to you. We brought flowers.” Aradia didn’t say anything, didn’t even look up at him. “I bet you miss her, huh? I miss my parents too. Or I guess… I just wish I could meet them.”  
     Aradia crinkled her brow. “I thought you said you were here with your dads.”  
     “Yeah, but two daddies can’t have a baby, dummy. I mean my real parents.”  
     “Oh.”  
     “Hey!” Sollux said suddenly, rocking on his heels. “Do you wanna talk to her again?” Aradia nodded enthusiastically. “I have something that can help!” Sollux grabbed Aradia’s hand and the two kids raced inside.

     It sat in front of them, Aradia and Sollux sitting across from each other. Aradia played with the ends of her hair.  
     “Sollux, are you sure about this?”  
     “Mhm! If you get scared, you can hold my hand.” Aradia nodded curtly as Sollux drew a long breath. “Are there any spirits here?” he asked, bringing his and Aradia’s hands to the planchette. It was still, filling the children with a sense of relief. But after a quiet moment, it hovered and shook. The board said ‘yes’. Aradia gasped.  
     “What is your name?” Sollux asked. Slowly, it moved, spelling out a name. R-A-C-H-E… but before it could finish, the planchette shook violently; the board _itself_ shook violently. Aradia pulled away from the board, as the lights flickered and a low rumbling seemed to fill the room. Aradia and Sollux fell backwards on opposite sides of the room. Sollux began crawling towards the door, reaching for the doorknob. Aradia scrambled to her feet as the door got yanked open, then--  
    

     Aradia woke up. The voices were back.

     That fucking Ouija board.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaayyyyy we are officially transitioning into 'Dead' Aradia. I'm aware that Aradia and Equius didn't kiss until she was in the robot body but, uhm, yeah I guess in relation to actual Homestuck events it's a bit out of order. Well. Whatever. I couldn't figure out a way to work it in there.  
> Anyway. Next chapter will likely focus on Damara.


	7. Damara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damara and Aradia finally have a good, sit-down conversation. Aradia ignores some (possibly prudent) advice, and Damara thinks she's doing something that makes her feel better.
> 
> Both girls feel like crap by the end of the day.

     Damara Megido hated nearly everything and everyone involved in her life. She hated her house, having been exiled to the basement, though it did make a good place to hide and smoke. She pretty much hated her stepdad, Daniel Droog. They didn’t need him to make things okay for them. They would have been fine. She hated school, and when she dropped out, she hated the shitty job she was forced to get, working in a sushi restaurant. She hated most of her friends, Meenah Peixes especially and she _loathed_ Horuss Zahhak. Meulin and Kurloz were fine sometimes, and that was only because the three of them would sit in the basement smoking weed together. Damara didn’t hate Rufioh, even if she thought she should, and contrary to whatever her stepsister thought, Damara didn’t hate Aradia. If anything, she sympathized with Aradia; saw something of herself in the girl.  
     It was the innocence, the desire to believe in basic good inside everyone. Damara didn’t have that anymore. It had been taken from her, not long ago, by that cheating asshole Rufioh. She’d been aware they were growing away from each other; his being distant in those last few months wasn’t very subtle. So why couldn’t he just have broken up with her instead of… Damara slammed her English Learner’s book shut, throwing it across the room. She tried not to think about him anymore, or at least, not their past. She still called him a friend.  
     Jesus fuck she needed a smoke. Damara cracked open the small window above her bed and lit a cigarette. Nicotine was the fucking worst. She’d only started smoking cigarettes to show up that wuss Ampora. Weed was more her tune. Never anything more than that. Damara wasn’t a fucking idiot. She took another puff, but was forced to put the cigarette out and wave the smoke out the window as footsteps came down the stairs. She expected it to be her mother, or possibly Daniel, but instead, Aradia appeared on the bottom step. Damara raised an eyebrow.  
     “What…” she paused as she spoke, slowing her usual speech into mostly coherent English. “What are you do… here?”  
     “Nothing. I just got back from Tavros’ place and uh… yeah. Rufioh said ‘hey’.”  
     “’Hey’ to me?”  
     “Mhm.”  
     “Why?”  
     “He said you guys were still friends. Do you… not see him as a friend anymore?”  
     “No, I see Rufioh as friend. Just… surprised he say same about me… after I punch his stupid boyfriend in his smiley horse face. My friends… they do not think very nice about me. They think I like to hurt them. But I hurted first. Rufioh, he cheat on me and break my heart, yet think I will help him fix things with asshole he leave me for. Meenah tease and pick on me… nothing go right for such long time… so I stop being nice to them. Stop faking it for them. I do what I like to do. Smoking make me feel better, sex make me feel wanted. And I get bad reputation for this, but who cares? Let them think what they want. I am happy with myself.”  
     “Well if you’re happy with yourself I guess that’s all that matters,” Aradia shrugged. “I can respect that, Damara.”  
     Damara shot her stepsister a wicked smile. “I don’t think self-hate good for anyone. Hate others, hate your old self, sure. But not you now.”  
     Aradia’s eyes were big and wide, a question perched in the back of her throat. “Damara?” The older girl made a grunt of acknowledgement, her gaze drifting out the window. “Why are you opening up to me?”  
     Damara’s smile vanished, her eyes now as wide and sad as Aradia’s. “We are like sisters now. Must care about each other, even when driving crazy.” Aradia looked down at the floor. “You are like younger me. I hate younger me, too many mistakes made. I do not want to see you make same mistakes. But I do not hate you. Could not hate you. I see you being so sad, now, since Homecoming. I give apology for Homecoming, but do not be with a Zahhak. They… no good…” Damara’s voice trailed. “Why not be with Captor? I see you smile with Captor.”  
     Aradia sighed. “I only wish it were that easy,” she murmured, plopping down on Damara’s mattress. “I don’t think Sollux wants anything to do with me anymore. Equius already asked me out… I’m pretty sure he thinks I said yes. It’s pretty useless to tell him no at this point.”  
     “You cannot let him control you.” Damara’s voice was loud, commanding, but Aradia just swung her head down and studied the stains on the cold basement floor. “If you do not like Zahhak you must tell him.”  
     “I guess.”  
     Damara huffed, somewhat glaring at Aradia.  
     “By the way, Damz, your English is getting pretty good.”  
     Aradia traipsed back upstairs, looking a tad more cheerful while Damara flopped onto her bed, reaching for another cigarette and her phone, both of which sat on the small nightstand. As she flicked her lighter on, a buzz came from her phone. Pesterchum.

amiableTorchbearer [AT]  began pestering aiboAbunai [AA]

AT: hey doll  
AT: haven’t seen you in a while  
AT: you drop out of school or something?  
AA: yes  
AA: i got new job instead  
AT: aw, thats a damn shame  
AA: aradia tell me you two talk at party  
AT: just giving her some friendly advice  
AA: because you great at relationships right?  
AT: now don’t be like that, damz  
AA: can i ask  
AA: why you are bothering me  
AT: eheh  
AT: yeah  
AT: need some help  
AA: is it horuss help  
AT: yeah  
AT: i just  
AT: hes so overbearing and clingy sometimes  
AT: i used to be really happy with him  
AT: and now i’m kind of  
AT: not  
AT: i dunno how to tell him  
AT: and i hesitate to even end it because like  
AT: i’m not out yet  
AT: and i don’t want my parents to be all like “well you’ve never been with a guy so how could you even know youre bi?”  
AT: that bullshit  
AA: rufioh i will say  
AA: do not do to him what you did to me  
AT: what do you mean  
AA: you were not happy with me anymore  
AA: but also scared of saying bye  
AA: instead you go behind my back  
AA: cheat on me  
AA: hurt so much worse than being dumped  
AA: if horuss does not make you happy  
AA: he deserves to be told  
AA: do not string him along  
AA: be honest  
AA: with him and your parents  
AA: mostly yourself  
AT: dang doll  
AT: when did you get so smart  
AA: learned the hard way  
AT: hey damz  
AA: what  
AT: you’re not angry with me for all that happened, are you?  
AA: no  
AA: not anymore  
AA: moved on  
AT: really?  
AA: yes  
AA: you are a friend to me  
AA: i wish for your happiness  
AA: just sorry i couldn’t be that for you.

aiboAbunai [AA] ceased pestering amiableTorchbearer [AT]

     After that, Damara shut her phone off. There was only so much reminiscing she could take in one night. She took a long drag from the cigarette perched between her lithe fingers and fell back onto her bed, fighting back tears. How did it come to this?

     It began at a very young age for her. Damara had never known her father, and apart from her mother shouting Japanese curses into the phone late at night, most common being ‘kuso yarō’. Damara was pretty oblivious, as most young kids were, to the struggle Hana had raising her, but as she grew, it was more and more painfully obvious how difficult it was to make ends meet for the two of them. It got to the point that, when Damara was 8, they had to move to a much smaller apartment.  
     In the deepest realm of her memories, she remembered a late night phone call from her mother’s mysterious, over-seas boss. They moved again not long after, not simply across the city, but across the ocean. A new life began for the two of them in America. Hana began slowly learning English, and Damara began to understand new words. She was put in the ELL classes in school, and accelerated much slower than the other kids.  
     She was shy. Awfully, terribly shy. None of the other students at recess would talk to her, referring to her as ‘that weird Japanese transfer kid’. But it changed when Rufioh came along. He, apparently, watched so much anime and become so infatuated with it that he took it upon himself at a young age to learn Japanese so he could watch without subtitles. He was the first friend Damara made, and the only person other than her mother that she really communicated effectively with. She was eventually integrated with Rufioh’s friends, but she never opened up much to them. Years passed before the gang was in high school, and over those years, Damara’s friendship with Rufioh grew into best friendship, and then more-than-friendship, and then girlfriend and boyfriendship. And then… they weren’t anything.  
     Damara clenched a fist, balling up her blanket and furiously pushing back tears. She refused to cry for him anymore. It wasn’t worth it.

     A few days later, Damara was working a closing shift at _Sushi Planet._ Ugh, of course this place hired her. And then, along with her mother and stepfather, insisted she learn at least enough English to communicate with the patrons. She supposed that wasn’t really a bad thing. At the very least, maybe she and Aradia might even start to get along. That was, if Aradia actually took some of the advice Damara had to give- which _apparently_ she did not if she was at the sushi place with EQUIUS! Damara’s tray faltered in her hand as she bore her eyes into the back of Aradia’s head. Every muscle in her body froze, leaving her stiff in her place, only shaken out of it by a disturbance from the customer whose table she was standing by. She slid his plate onto the table rather loudly, stared at her stepsister again, then turned and walked back into the kitchen. It was a slow night, so there weren’t many tables to wait on. Damara tapped furiously on her phone, looking for some way to relieve her tension.  
     There he was. Cronus Ampora.

 

     Tires screeched in the road. Damara slammed her car door shut and skulked up to the front door. The Ampora home was arguably a mansion, and its large walls loomed over the small girl as she pounded on the door. Footsteps came from the floor above, quick and heavy, and in a moment Cronus was at the door.  
     “How ya doin, sweetheart?” he said, waggling his eyebrows a bit.  
     “Shitty. Let me in.”  
     “Whoa, whoa, what’s the rush, hon? Don’chu wanna make tonight last?”  
     “Not really.”  
     “Alright then…” Cronus murmured, moving out of the doorframe as Damara shoved past him. His eyes gazed a bit south of her skirt hem as she walked into the living room, Cronus trailing after her.

     It started innocent enough. Cronus, who Damara guessed was unfamiliar with intimacy, as it was obvious he wasn’t sure how things should begin, turned on the television and found an innocuous movie that they didn’t need to pay attention to and wrapped an arm around Damara’s shoulder. She leaned in a bit, but cuddling was not what she was particularly interested in. At least, not with Cronus. His hands brushed along her neck, persuading her face to turn his way. Before Damara could properly react, his lips were on hers. He tasted like cologne and ash. Smoking was something the two had in common, but Damara couldn’t help but wonder if he could taste the cigarettes and weed on her lips. Cronus pulled Damara on top of him, as the kissing grew more intense.  
     “We’re lucky my dad an’ Eri are out for the night,” Cronus grunted. Damara murmured in agreement before slipping her tongue back into Cronus’s mouth.  
     Cronus pulled Damara closer in, hand tangled in her thick hair, until they couldn’t get any closer. Damara’s hands slid up Cronus’s shirt, and Cronus’s fingers lingered under the hem of Damara’s skirt. Teeth and tongues clashed and fingers began their work. Damara’s clothes came off first, but she also tugged off Cronus’s shirt before teasing his hard-on. Her hand slid under the waistline of his jeans, antagonizing Cronus until he couldn’t stand it anymore. She grinned as he flushed bright red.  
     “Ah, just fuck me, alright, I can’t-” Cronus murmured. Damara wordlessly unbuttoned his pants and slid his boxers down before straddling him.  
     Cronus Ampora and Damara Megido sat on the couch in the aftermath of their heated sex. Cronus wore a satisfied grin while Damara glanced around at her clothes strewn about, looking at her naked self, and back to Cronus. He’d since pulled his pants back up a tad, but they remained unbuttoned and he hadn’t bothered with his shirt yet. As Damara gathered her clothes and began to put herself back together, Cronus stood from the couch, finishing getting dressed, and paced into the kitchen.  
     “Hey doll, you need a smoke?” he asked, still bearing his wide, satisfied grin. Damara looked up, wide-eyed and face flush.  
     “N-no, I… go now…”

     Damara sat in the car, still parked outside Cronus’s house. She looked at herself in the mirror, hair all displaced and makeup a mess. The entire time she drove home, and when she tried to fall asleep, one thing kept running through her head.  
     “What the hell did I do that for…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so a few things to say.  
> I'm very interested in Damara's character. Unfortunately, for most of the dancestors, we don't have a whole lot to go off of. My perspective of her, I tried to expand upon in this chapter. She kind of broke after Rufioh cheated on her and she was relentlessly bullied by Meenah. After all this she kind of decided, it's better to let them hate me then let them close again.  
> Also, I've never written smut before so I didn't want to go into TOO MUCH detail. Point is, Damara felt angry and upset so she called Cronus to do the frick frack because that guy leaps at any chance for sex.  
> She's starting to regret this whole facade of herself that she's built up, and since she and Aradia are going to get closer due to ~*~*~drama~*~*~ we'll get to see some more of Damara, more closely.  
> Anywayyyy I have some fun stuff planned soon so stay tuned and thanks for reading!


	8. Jolly Holidays

     Aradia’s hand somehow still felt cold despite Equius gripping it almost uncomfortably firmly. He was warm, heat and blush visible on both his knuckles and his cheeks. Aradia could sense that her boyfriend (she guessed?) was flustered.  
     “Equius?” she asked, voice almost at a whisper.  
     Beads of sweat trickled down his face. “I… would like you to have dinner at my home and meet my father and brother. I have informed Miss Peixes that we will be late in attending her holiday party due to this arrangement.”  
     Aradia pursed her lips, drawing her hand away from Equius’s, but he closed hers between both of his hands, holding tightly. Aradia closed her eyes for a moment. “Is that okay?” Equius asked. A few more seconds passed before Aradia answered.  
     “Yes. I’m okay with it.”

     Damara wiped tears away as she finished applying her eyeliner. Every moment she looked in the mirror, she saw what she imagined others would see, heard the rumors and whispers that she just _knew_ were floating around the school, even if she didn’t actually hear them, thanks to Cronus’s fat mouth.  
     _It’s that slut._ **Heard she slept with CRONUS, of all people.** Japanese HARLOT. **Dropped out of school.**  
     The worst part of it was, Damara was choosing to face all that again. Her voice faltered as she traipsed up the stairs from the basement.  
     “Mama…” she said, entering the kitchen. Hana looked up at her, bringing full attention from the stove to her daughter. “I want to go back to school.”

     Aradia looked at herself. She was well aware Equius was… suffice to say, more well off than her own family, and had put in as much effort as she could make herself with such little motivation. A simple grey cotton dress and a deep burgundy cardigan with her hair pulled back into a loose, messy bun. She sat on her bed, staring at nothing. Whispers rattled around in her head.  
     _Aradia you don’t need him. You don’t want him, even. You have to be honest with him and yourself._  
     “You don’t know what I need. You’re not even here,” Aradia murmured to the air. The voice was quiet.  
     Aradia jumped in place at the loud sound of her doorbell. She pulled her shoes on as the sound of her father’s grumbles hit her.  
     “No, no, no, nonono,” she murmured to herself, racing to beat Daniel to the front door. Before she was even at the stairwell, the door was open, Daniel Droog face-to-face with the nervously wide grin of Equius Zahhak. The towering boy stood in the doorway, clutching a single, wilting flower in his tight grip. Aradia approached quietly, standing behind her tense father.  
     “H-hello, Mr. Droog,” Equius stammered. Daniel sneered a bit as the boy thrust the flower towards Aradia.  
     “Oh, thanks,” she said quietly. “I’ll go… put this in some water.” Aradia turned into the kitchen and poured some water into a thin glass vase, listening in as her father gave Equius the third degree.  
     “So, Mister Zahhak, what exactly are your intentions with my daughter?”  
     “I… I’m not sure I know what you mean. I have no intention to harm Miss Droog, and I would never disrespect her in anyway. Uh, Sir.”  
     “Where you two headed tonight?  
     “I have, er, asked her to attend dinner at my home to properly meet my father and brother, and then she and I will be joining the rest of our friends at Miss Peixes’s home for her annual holiday party.”  
     “Her story better match what you just told me, to the letter, Mister Zahhak, and if it don’t, it’ll be your head.”  
     “Dad!” Aradia called, reappearing near the door. “That’s enough,” she whispered to him. Daniel grumbled as Aradia shit the door behind herself. Equius took her hand, as he did, his hand clammy as he led the girl to the chauffeured car waiting outside the house. “Sorry about him,” Aradia murmured. Equius glanced over at her, deep blue eyes peering at her, fixated from behind broken glasses.  
     “Hmm?”  
     “My dad. He’s… overbearing.”  
     “Oh.”  
     They climbed into the backseat of the car, and once they were buckled in, Equius said only two words to the driver.  
     “Aurthour, home.”  
     The car rattled along, a thick silence settling between the ‘couple’, Aradia’s hand still in Equius’s, resting on the small amount of seat between them. Aradia felt tense. Even after nearly two months, she knew very little about Equius Zahhak. And here she was, in the back of his car, driven by a man whose face she’d never seen, going to his house to meet strangers.

     The house was even more grand than Aradia had imagined. Equius opened her car door and helped her out, and the two were followed into the house by Aurthour. There were a handful of framed pictures, but in each the family looked very solemn. The one that stood out was the one of Equius giving a small smile to the camera from a hockey arena, a couple of teeth obviously missing.  
     “I didn’t know you played hockey, Equius,” Aradia said. Equius glanced over.  
     “Yes, I lost a few teeth to the game. However, I much prefer dancing. Hockey was taken up in order to satiate my father.”  
     Darius L. Zahhak, from what little Aradia knew about him, was a stern man with a prestigious position on the school board. He’d been sighted on campus, but never with a smile. Somehow that image perfectly matched with someone who would push his child into sports. Aradia was surprised, however, that Equius danced. There was so much she didn’t know about him.

     Dinner that evening was one of the most awkward experiences of her entire life. The table was set by Aurthour and a couple other nameless people. Aradia sat between Equius and his father, and across from his strange brother Horuss, who was quite the opposite of Darius in the sense that his face was never seen _without_ a smile. There was very little conversation apart from introductions, and the plates were whisked away instantly once empty. Aradia stood stiffly at the table, anxious to leave for Feferi’s party.  
     “It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Zahhak; Horuss.” Both of the gentlemen nodded after her and Equius as the pair left the room. Equius glanced at his watch.  
     “Perfect timing,” he murmured. “Aurthour, please get the car ready.”  
     Before Aradia had even realized Aurthour was in the room, he disappeared once again, bringing the car around to the front of the house. Equius led the way out the front door, as was typical, toting Aradia behind him.  
     It was, once again, a quiet ride, though without even the touch of the others’ hand present. Equius glared out the window, fidgeting with his glasses. Aradia watched, fixated on him. She wondered how the cracks in his glasses hadn’t just caused them to shatter.  
     “Equius?” she murmured, “why do you keep wearing those broken old things?”  
     “Ah… sentimentality, I suppose.”  
     “But… isn’t it hard to see through all the cracks?”  
     “I… don’t actually need them to see. The cracks are aesthetic.”  
     “I’m not sure I get it…”  
     Equius sighed. “My brother and I are very intrigued by robotics and technology of that nature. When I was younger, I wore glasses very similar to these, though without the cracks. One day Horuss and I were working on adapting the motor of a motorized scooter to see if we could make it hover. A sprocket was loose, however, and hit me square in the face, shattering my glasses completely. I no longer wear glasses out of necessity; my father bought me prescription contacts some time ago. I did find these at a joke shop not too long ago, and wear them to show my brother that even if we are not particularly close anymore, I do value the time we spent together when we were younger.”  
     “Oh,” Aradia murmured. It seemed things in the Zahhak household were more strained than Aradia originally expected, but at the very least she was getting to know Equius a bit better.  
     They arrived at Feferi’s house, a literal mansion, and it was evident there was a party going on, even if it wasn’t a raging house party. There was a fair amount of noise, even from the outside, as the two approached the front door. Equius knocked on the door, despite a piece of paper reading ‘Come on in!’ written hastily taped on the door.  
     “Equius, just open the door,” Aradia murmured.  
     “But… that would be rude. I was told to always mind my manners, and that includes waiting for your host to answer the door.”  
     Aradia shook her head and let herself into Feferi’s house, Equius faltering but following her anyway. With an upwards glance, Aradia noticed that as usual, Feferi had strung up several bunches of mistletoe in somewhat unexpected places. She made her way into the main living room, where all the furniture had been moved aside to make room for something of a dance floor. Tons of holiday cookies were on the counter, along with favorite party snacks like chips and soda and other unhealthy things. Feferi, who had been pouring herself a soda, looked up at Aradia and immediately rushed at her, resulting in a tight hug.  
     “Aradia! Oh my goodness, we haven’t hung out in so long! What’s going on with you? How are things with Equius? You have to tell me everything!” Feferi gushed.  
     “Uh, yeah, we’ll catch up,” Aradia murmured, having been caught off guard. Equius came in behind her, bidding hello to Feferi before a loud, excited cry interrupted.  
     “Equiuuussss!” Nepeta was rushing down the hall, basically pouncing onto Equius before beginning to pull him down the hall.  
     “Er- Nepeta…! Ah, my apologies, I’ll be back shortly,” he murmured to Aradia and Feferi.  
     “We have a _lot_ of talking to do, mister,” Nepeta said sternly as the two left the room. Aradia shrugged, shooting a forced smile at Feferi.

     Equius was gone for most of the evening, but Aradia didn’t find herself bothered by it. She did, however, find herself bothered by Vriska, who spent the majority of the night bullying Tavros until he went skulking into the backyard, and then agitating Aradia. It used to be easy to ignore Vriska, but Aradia felt nearly ready to explode already, following the poor treatment of Tavros, who she easily considered her best friend. Still, she knew Vriska was only looking for the satisfaction of getting a reaction.  
     “So, Aradia, how’re things with Sweaty McGee? Saw you in the neighborhood earlier,” Vriska drawled.  
     “That’s right, you two are neighbors….” Aradia murmured.  
     “Yeah, how did it feel seeing a nice house for once?”  
     “Are you referring to yours? Because if that’s the case, I don’t think I have an answer.”  
     “What’s wrong with my house?!” The blonde grit her teeth, anger billowing.  
     “What’s wrong with mine?”  
     “Isn’t your family dirt fucking poor?”  
     “I wouldn’t say that,” Aradia responded, pushing every emotion away to keep a cool demeanor.  
     “What?! God, don’t you feel anything anymore? I just- ugh, I fucking hate you! Go find your stupid stinky boyfriend!”  
       “I think I will, actually, your company is pretty unpleasant, come to think of it.”  
       Without another word, Aradia turned and walked down the hallway, exiting with Vriska’s frustrated, angry shout behind her.  
       “Equius?” she murmured, coming into the main entrance of the house. She didn’t find him, but instead saw Sollux and Feferi kissing underneath the mistletoe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! So, I know it's been a while since I updated this but it's not dead! I just hit a bit of a block with this chapter. I have also been very busy with school things but the semester is almost over so hopefully I can get back to working on this more actively.


	9. New Year's Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas parties really fucking suck.

     The rest of a night was a blur. When Equius walked Aradia to the door, he tried to kiss her goodnight, but she just let him kiss her cheek instead, and despite being a mere ten minutes late, she still had to provide a detailed explanation to her father. It didn’t feel like Christmas time. Aradia wanted to break down in tears, but just couldn’t. A hollowness occupied her chest, and it had been for a long time.

     Christmas morning didn’t even feel like it mattered, despite the warm fuzziness the other three felt around the house. Damara was even smiling when they had their traditional Christmas breakfast.  
     “What’s got you so happy, Damara?” Daniel asked.  
     “I am going back to school,” she answered. Aradia looked up from her plate.  
     “Really?” Aradia asked. Damara paused in answering, but gave a slow nod.  
     “…yes.”  
     “How’d you swing that?” Daniel asked.  
     “I took her to the counselor when she told me a few weeks ago, and they said Damara had a few options; she can go back and take accelerated classes and get a diploma with everyone else, or finish what she’d do in the spring anyway and get a GED, or skip the spring semester and go to Completion School next year,” Hana explained.  
     Daniel’s eyes met Damara’s. “So what did you decide to do?”  
     “I want to go back. Study hard. Graduate with friends.”  
     “That’s great, Damara,” Aradia said quietly.  
     “I want to… be different. Tired of such anger and loneliness.”  
     “Well, now, the counselor didn’t recommend that…”  
     “I know, Mama… I want to try.”  
     “I understand that, sweetie. But, given your history…”  
     “I can do this!”  
     “I know you can. But I was told- one violent outburst and you’ll have to do C school instead.”  
     “Okay…I be good,” Damara said quietly.

     Christmas morning went by quite quickly, Aradia giving small smiles to her family as she opened her presents. The last one she opened was from Hana and Daniel, and it was an archaeology kit incredibly similar to the one she’d had years ago as a child. It was the one that made her genuinely happy.

     Aradia sat in her room, post-gift-giving, turning the boxed archaeology kit in her hands. It reminded her of herself when she was younger, digging up “fossils” in the backyard that were actually just cool looking rocks, until her parents started burying chicken bones and gemstones for her to find. She stopped digging shortly after Rachel’s passing, and hadn’t thought to take it up again until that Christmas morning.  
     A tapping sound came from the bedroom door, the frame now occupied by Daniel.  
     “How you doin’, kiddo?” he asked.  
     “I’m okay.”  
     “Really? You ain’t seemed okay.”  
     “Yes, Dad. I’m okay. I promise.”  
     “Alright, I just worry about you, ‘s all. You been real down in the dumps lately.”  
     “I know. Just… having a rough time with my friends.”  
     “Erh, yeah, I get it. That Equius kid; he rubs me the wrong way.”  
     “I know, Dad.”  
     “You really into him?”  
     “I don’t know.”  
     “Well if you ain’t, you oughta tell ‘im. Stupid kid is infatuated with you, and as much as that makes me wanna kill ‘im a little,” Aradia laughed, “it still ain’t fair to ‘im, bein’ led on.”  
     “I know… I never really agreed to go out with him, but… I don’t know. Seems too harsh to just end things.”  
     “Well, do what you think is right. ‘Member, we’re headin’ to Spencer’s for dinner later.”  
     “Alright, Dad.”

     Daniel skulked out of the room as Aradia flopped backwards onto her bed. Great. The last thing she wanted was Christmas dinner at Spencer Slick’s, because 1) she was in an anti-social mood and 2) Spencer was friends with Harold Boxcars, who more likely than not would have the Nitrams with him, and with Clyde Deuce, who would _definitely_ have the Captors with him, and despite Sollux always being the one Aradia would go to at these times, he was the last person she wanted to see right now.  
     A message pinged on Pesterchum. Speak of the devil.

twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

TA: hey  
TA: AA  
TA: what’s up  
TA: how’s your christmas been?  
AA: hey sollux  
AA: its been ok  
AA: dad got me a new archaeology kit  
TA: man does that take me back  
TA: you haven’t done a dig in such a long time  
AA: i know  
TA: heh  
AA: sollux  
TA: what  
AA: um…  
AA: now is not really a good time to talk  
TA: something going on with you?  
AA: no i just  
AA: its christmas  
AA: i should be downstairs with my family  
TA: okay  
TA: i’ll see you at spencer’s party later?  
AA: yeah  
TA: you bringing equius?  
AA: no  
AA: why  
TA: just wondering  
TA: tav said he’s bringing vriska  
AA: oh  
AA: wonderful  
AA: see you later

apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA]

     Aradia decided to keep to her word and went downstairs, where Hana was decorating cupcakes to take to the party.  
     “I didn’t know you baked,” Aradia muttered. Hana continued decorating without even missing a beat.  
     “Oh, hardly. It’s a box mix. But topped with a nice frosting, nobody can even tell.”  
     “Mmm…”

     Before long, the group was off to the party, Aradia curling in on herself, leaning against the window. She was dreading every moment she was forced into socialization, and of course Spencer’s house was already full of party guests by the time the Megido-Droogs arrived. Aradia gave all the adults brief, quiet hellos before slinking off to the spare bedroom upstairs where Tavros, Vriska and Sollux would no doubt be playing video games or something of the like.  
     She let herself into the room, everyone looking up at her. Sollux immediately placed his attention back on the television screen.  
     “Hi Aradia,” Tavros said as she came all the way through the door.  
     “Hey Tav… Sollux…”  
     “’sup,” Sollux lisped back, still focused on his games. Aradia sat down on the bed next to Vriska, whose scowl was nigh instantaneous.  
     “What, don’t I get a hello?” she hissed, huffing as she crossed her arms.  
     “Don’t you have your own family to bother? It is Christmas,” Aradia muttered.  
     “Wha—I’m _Jewish_ , you asshole.”

     The night seemed to go on like that- the boys tuned into what was happening on screen while Aradia was stuck listening to Vriska rant about things that hardly mattered, without even bothering to respond most of the time, until the kids were called down for dinner. Vriska was the first out of the room, pushing Sollux aside.  
     “Move it, loser!”  
     “Oh my god, shut up,” Sollux murmured under his breath as he made his way downstairs. Aradia stood from the bed and started to leave, glancing back at Tavros, who was turning his chair towards the door.  
     “Hey Tav… how did you get up here?” she asked.  
     “Uh, Rufioh… he carried me up. C-could you go get him, actually?”  
     “Sure.”

     Aradia turned down the hallway towards the stairs, but paused at the top step when she spotted Vriska in the room below her, pacing and having what seemed to be a strenuous phone call. Aradia lowered herself below the banister, where she doubted Vriska would be able to see her, if she were even looking.  
     “…what- no, I don’t care. …I know, but I can’t force her to… shut up! Listen, Zahhak, I held up my end of the deal and rigged the game. I got you in the closet. … well that’s not my problem! You deal with your own freaky relationship; I can’t force Droog to have feelings for you! She hardly has feelings about anything anymore. …Figure it out! I made a promise and I fulfilled that promise. Not my business anymore.”  
     Aradia’s hands were gripping the rail, knuckles white as she filled with the most anger she’d felt in months. Vriska had been playing her for weeks, and soon she would make her pay.

     Aradia went about her business for the remainder of the party, now truly faking her calm demeanor as she dealt with Vriska, and internally seething with anger at her and Equius both. She knew the relationship had felt empty, but now that she’d figured out the whole thing was a setup there was no going back. She got Rufioh and helped him carry Tavros and his chair down the stairs, she ate a small portion of dinner, and she kept quiet about her discovery. But by the time Aradia got back home, she wanted to rip her pillows apart. The past few months just kept replaying in her head, reminding her of how stupid she’d been. A small knock came at her bedroom door.  
     “What?!” Aradia snarled, turning to see a startled Damara in the door frame.  
     “You… seem upset. We talk.”  
     “I didn’t ask for your help.”  
     “No, but is what sisters do. Help each other. You’re angry.”  
     “Of course I’m angry! It was all a lie. Equius never cared about me…”  
     Damara sat down on the bed, prompting Aradia to do the same. “I think he care. I think he scared of rejection. But should not have tricked you. You confront, tell him you no like him. Don’t want relationship to be like that.”  
     “I’m just so angry!” Aradia cried, a half-sob, half-scream. “I- I- Ugh!” Aradia flung a picture frame off her nightstand, letting it land in the soft carpet. “It didn’t break…”  
     “You want it to break?”  
     “I want _something_ to break.”  
     Damara gave a small nod before leaving. “Go to archery range. May help.”  
     Aradia wiped angry tears from her eyes before nodding back at Damara. They were different people, but had a lot of the same problems, and Aradia appreciated the advice.

     The next morning, Aradia got a message on Pesterchum.

twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

TA: hey  
TA: you okay?  
TA: you were acting weird last night  
TA: something wrong?  
AA: quite frankly its none of your business  
TA: whoa, what crawled up your ass and died?  
AA: nothing’s dead around here except my relationship  
TA: things with eq that bad?  
AA: things with Equius are a fucking lie  
TA: damn  
AA: but i really don’t see why you even care  
TA: cause you’re my friend?  
AA: am i  
AA: you haven’t been acting like it lately  
TA: sorry  
TA: been wrapped up in other stuff  
AA: other stuff  
AA: like kissing feferi right  
TA: i… didn’t know you knew about that  
AA: whatever sollux  
AA: i need to go  
AA: im getting an early start on my new years resolution  
TA: what’s that  
AA: first getting out of this relationship  
AA: bye  
TA: aradia, wait  
AA: what  
TA: listen, just because i’m dating fef now doesn’t mean we have to stop being friends  
TA: we didn’t stop being friends just cause you and equius were a thing  
AA: actually you kinda started ignoring me a lot  
TA: yeah, but that wasn’t because of equius  
TA: like i said, i’ve been wrapped up in other stuff  
TA: besides… eh…  
AA: like what  
TA: well  
TA: suffice to say my new year’s resolution is to go to a therapist  
TA: and could really use some support  
AA: are you asking me to go with you  
TA: yeah  
TA: you’re my best friend  
TA: i wouldn’t ask anyone else  
AA: well  
AA: i could go with you  
AA: might even be good for me  
TA: why’s that?  
AA: because sollux  
AA: the voices are gone

apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi readers! So school has been done for a little while, and between finishing cosplays for AX in the next three weeks, moving, and work, I'm gonna try to get more chapters of this out, and maybe start on Tavros' arc.  
> Anyway so we're witnessing the change to Aradia"bot" here. I found her to be more aggressive/angry in canon, and she liked to break things so I'm trying to incorporate those anger issues into Aradia here.  
> Next update might parallel the events prior to and in "Make Her Pay" but idk right now.


	10. Teenagers Scare the Living Shit Out of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia loses her shit.

 

    New Year’s Eve passed with little excitement. Aradia didn’t even bother showing up to Feferi’s party, having expected some sort of interrogation from Equius. And then, she remembered what Damara told her, and an idea came to her. There was bound to be some sort of confrontation between her and the Zahhak boy, so Aradia decided it may as well be on her terms.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

AA: equius  
AA: lets do something fun today  
AA: lets go to the archery range  
CT: Ah  
CT: Yes, that would be quite enjoyable  
CT: But may I ask… why this sudden suggestion?  
CT: I have not seen you in some time  
CT: I was beginning to worry you had lost interest in me  
AA: just been busy  
CT: I see  
CT: Very well then  
CT: But I was not under the impression you were interested in archery  
AA: not particularly  
AA: i just want to break something  
AA: makes me feel better  
CT: Er…  
CT: So be it  
CT: Shall I have Aurthour pick you up?  
AA: naturally  
AA: the afternoon wouldnt be complete without aurthour  
CT: Then I will see you shortly.

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

     Equius kept true to his word, and the car showed up on Aradia’s street within 20 minutes.  
     “Bye Damz, I’m going out!” Aradia called to her stepsister as she slammed the door behind her. Her emotions were out in full force, and it was almost overwhelming as she’d spent several months feeling nothing at all. As she all but sprinted towards the car, Equius swung her door open and climbed in after her. In a weird sort of way, Aradia felt sorry for him. A boy so insecure in himself that he had to manipulate a girl into dating him. A boy who had never been able to enjoy what he really had passion for, with an overbearing father and a distant brother and no mother to be seen, just like her.  
     “Hey Equius, can I ask you something?”  
     “Of course, er… darling,” Equius faltered. Aradia choked back a startled cough. Equius never attempted to use pet names. He must have been more worried about losing a grip on her than she’d realized.  
     “What happened to your mom?”  
     Equius let out a short, airy gasp before clearing his throat. With a slight adjustment of his glasses, he spoke. “Much like your mother, she got sick. A couple years ago, now.”  
     “Oh. I’m… sorry to hear that.”  
     “Likewise. I haven’t seen my mother in quite some time, but it cannot compare to what you must have gone through.”  
     “Wait… seen her? I thought….”  
     Equius caught Aradia’s narrowing glance, and realized the jump in logic she’d made. “Ah! No, that isn’t to say… my mom did not die. She was cared for out of our home for a time, but her illnesses have made her very weak and she’s been essentially living in a hospital for nearly two years. My father refuses to accept this… but enough about that.”  
     Aradia sat through the rest of the car ride in silence. Though her mouth wasn’t moving, her mind raced through a thousand words and thoughts a second. She related to Equius, and they weren’t terrible friends, but all her resentment towards him was sent bubbling to the surface, and the tension between them was palpable. They weren’t meant to be a couple, and Aradia had been essentially swindled into it. So today it would end.  
     They arrived at the archery range. As was routine at this point, Equius got out and opened the door for Aradia. Aradia stepped out, not sparing Equius so much as a sideway glance as she strutted over to the main part of the archery range. She knew how bows worked, and took no hesitation in showing off her skills. Before the instructor could utter so much as a word, and before Equius had quite caught up, Aradia knocked an arrow to her bowstring and hit the target- a bale of hay with a plastic printed target tossed over it- head on. Not quite a bullseye, but impressive nonetheless. Equius raced up behind her, looking on in shock as she beamed. The instructor muttered something about rules under his breath before looking up at the two.  
     “Hold on there, you two,” he said, “Now I assume this isn’t your first time but you can’t just go breaking protocol like that. There is some safety stuff that I am legally required to tell you. First of all… well, there’s only two of you, so you can both shoot at the same time, but wait until everyone’s done before going to collect your arrows. When you…”  
     Once the orange-haired man finished explaining his safety rules, Aradia lifted her bow once more, Equius following the same movements beside her. As one arrow launched into the air, the other fell flat onto the ground, accompanied by the loud _snap_ of the bow breaking in two. Aradia couldn’t help but to snicker at Equius’s misfortune as he grimaced up at the archery instructor.  
     “…I can pay for that, sir…”  
     The man looked completely shocked, shook his head, and returned to his office, presumably to call his boss. Aradia moved closer to Equius, weaving her fingers into his, wrapping both their hands around the bow.  
     “That’s okay, Equius, we can share a bow.”  
     “I… er…” his hands grew clammy with his sweat, but he let himself stay in Aradia’s grip as she knocked another arrow, letting him pull it back. It sailed finely into the air, meeting another nearby arrow in the target.  
     “Don’t pull so hard. Relax, Equius,” Aradia purred. Equius turned on his heel, facing her.  
     “You’re…making me a bit nervous…”  
     That hit a nerve. “What could you possibly have to be nervous about, Equius?” Aradia’s cooing, calm voice was slowly turning harsh. “Could it be that… hmmm… you worked with Vriska to cheat at Seven Minutes, and have been manipulating my emotions through this entire relationship?!” Her hands were both in fists, both balled in Equius’s shirt collar. Had Aradia possessed enough strength, she would have thrown him across the archery range, but instead was only able to push him enough to stumble.  
     “I… er,” Equius bent his knees a bit, inching closer to her as she turned away in anger.  
     “How could you possibly think that’s acceptable?” Aradia was angry, yes, but she was also crying, tears from deception and dishonesty and fury. “How could you think that’s a good way to get a girl to like you? That’s not how to show you care, why couldn’t you just have talked to me?!”  
     “In all honesty, you make me nervous. I have never… been so intrigued by someone.”  
     “So you talk to me! You don’t lie to me!”  
     “I intended to. My intention was to ask you to Homecoming, but I got nervous, and Captor beat me to it… and my, er, _helpful_ neighbor offered her hand. I didn’t want to… I didn’t want it to be like this.”  
     Aradia was facing him again, tears streaming down her face and hands tight, muscles clenched but not quite a fist. “I could have… been with someone who actually cared, Equius. And now he has someone else.” Anger dissipated and all Aradia could feel now was sadness.  
     Equius had slowly drawn closer and was now in an uncomfortably close proximity, looking down at Aradia. “I _do_ care…”  
     Aradia’s heart twisted, emotions blurring, until a fit of rage overtook her. She slapped Equius, hard, his cracked glasses flying off.  
     “DON’T. LIE. TO. ME!” she screeched, another slap across his cheek with every word. She thought it would be enough to make her feel better, but it wasn’t. She wanted to confuse him, mess with his head a little, so she pulled him in by the straps of his tank top and gave him a long, rough kiss before pushing him away again. “Take me home,” she said as he stumbled and fell onto the ground.

     That ride home was quieter than any other ride had been. Aradia had nothing further to say to Equius; she’d made her point at the range. She didn’t even let him open the door for her. She stormed out of the car and slammed the door behind her. Nobody was home when she got there; exactly what she’d been hoping the situation would be. Aradia slunk upstairs, locking herself in her bathroom. Not that it mattered at the moment, but she didn’t want to be disturbed. She cried, but they were quiet tears. No sobs, no shaky chest, just quiet tears rolling down her cheeks.  
     “Mom…” she whispered to herself, to the reflection in the mirror. And suddenly, she hated how much she looked like her mom. It was only a painful reminder of how utterly gone her mother was, and how nothing could ever change it. A reminder that Aradia could never find someone who loved her as much as Daniel had loved Rachel. Equius had only proven that, and Aradia felt too broken. Everything about her. Again, sadness turned to anger, and in a furious attempt to change _something_ in her life, Aradia rummaged through the bathroom drawer to find her scissors, and once she found them, she didn’t even spare a moment to think about it before taking them to her thick mane of hair. So much of it fell away, leaving it shortened to just above her shoulders.  
   “Shit…” Aradia muttered to herself. It was such a clear division as she looked at her reflection. One side short, new, waiting for change, the other long and old and weighed down by emotions. Another fell swoop of the scissors, and the rest of that was gone, though she could probably use some evening out in the back. It wasn’t going to be pretty when her dad got home, though.

     Sure enough, an argument ensued as soon as Aradia came down from her room. She’d been upstairs for a while before everyone got home; given herself some time to cool down, but once she was down the stairs, all eyes were on her. Damara didn’t say anything, and simply continued setting the table for dinner.  
     “Aradia, you… cut your--”  
     “What in the _hell_ did you do?!” Daniel Droog yelled, completely cutting Hana off.  
     “Jesus, it’s just a haircut, Dad.”  
     “You did it yourself?”  
     “Yeah.”  
     “Aradia, why on earth would you want to do that?” Hana asked, trying to keep a calm tone. Aradia shrugged.  
     “I’unno, needed a change of pace. I like it.”  
     “Well, if you like it…” Hana’s voice trailed off, looking back at Daniel, who merely shook his head.  
     “No television tonight. That’s your punishment. If you wanted a haircut you should have told me,” Daniel was being stern, moreso than usual, but it seemed almost unwarranted.  
     “What does it matter? Is it _your_ hair, Dad?”  
     “Don’t talk back to me.”  
   “I think it suits me, and besides, it’s not like I can just grow it back instantly because you don’t approve.”  
     “You should have thought of that before acting so recklessly.”  
     “ _Whatever!_ You’re so content pretending that everything’s normal, while I’m upstairs hating how much I look like Mom. Open your eyes and see that I’m… I’m _not_ okay!”  
     “Aradia, my intention was never to intrude on your life-” Hana began to say, but she was once again cut off.  
     “Leave me the fuck alone, Hana! You’re not my mom!” Aradia yelled, more angry tears burning in her eyes. Daniel was seething at this point.  
   “That’s it, young lady, go to your room! You’re grounded!”  
     Aradia stomped upstairs and slammed her bedroom door, but there was still so much she’d wanted to say. She’d never felt so much anger in her life than she’d felt in this one day, and there had to be a better way for her to get it out. Of course, not all her issues had been dealt with. She still needed to find a way to pay Vriska back.

     School started a few days after that incident, and in those few days, Aradia had not been permitted out of the house, so school provided an odd sense of relief; some of the first social interaction she’d see in a couple weeks. But of course Vriska would be at school, and of course that’s exactly what Aradia had been counting on.

     It had been noticed by everyone- including the teacher- that Vriska had been skipping English class, bumming smokes in the girl’s restroom, Aradia assumed. So she excused herself just before class ended and made her way to the nearest bathroom. Sure enough, Vriska was in there, a somewhat disgusted grimace slapped across her face as Aradia walked in the door.  
     “Droog? What the hell happened to you?” Vriska asked, for once showing a smidgeon of concern rather than just taunting Aradia.  
     “Suffice to say, Equius and I had a little falling-out.”  
     “Oh reaaaaaaaally? What a shame.” Vriska’s taunting voice was back. “You two seemed to hit it off pretty we-ACK!” Vriska’s snarky comment was met by a harsh, unbridled slap across the face. Aradia’s full fury was let out while Vriska was still in shock. A knee in the stomach further beat Vriska down. Aradia gripped Vriska’s collar, pulling her close enough for another punch across the face, knocking her glasses off, and then gave her a half-push, half-throw out the bathroom door into the school’s main hallway. Vriska fell onto the ground, clutching her prosthetic arm, a black eye forming and blood mixing with spit as it dribbled down her chin.  
     “Don’t! Screw with me, Serket,” Aradia screeched. Classrooms were beginning to let out for lunch, students spilling into the hall. The first face Aradia recognized was Feferi’s sister, Meenah, coming out of the same class as Damara. The next face was Tavros, who looked utterly appalled at the state of things. The boy made eye contact with Aradia, and then she left as quickly as she could to find a place to hide.

    Damara was in shock when she left her art class. Aranea’s little sister was lying in the hallway with blood on her face, glasses missing, and clutching her prosthetic arm, something probably having come loose. And the culprit of the beating was Aradia, who left the scene moments after students appeared in the hall. Meenah snickered next to Damara.  
     “Guess Aradia’s just as crazy as her stepsister, ain’t she?” Damara grit her teeth as Meenah laughed, and without any hesitation, punched her as hard as she could.

     Both Aradia and Damara wound up in the principal’s office that day.  
    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh so I have been crazy busy over the summer and slowly working on this but yeah it just wound up taking a long time between Anime Expo and camp and moving and work and all that nonsense. 
> 
> Also I found a few instances where other characters referred to Aradia as "Megido" and that's... not her last name in this story so I went back and changed them all to "Droog".
> 
> Chapter Title is taken from "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance


	11. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia finally goes to therapy with Sollux like she promised.

     “Suspended!?” Daniel Droog was not easy to anger, but once he was mad, he was scary. Hana, on the other hand, was calm. She’d been here many times before, and had been hoping not to make a return in Damara’s senior year, but here she was.  
     “Mister Droog, quite frankly you’re lucky Aradia isn’t getting expelled. She ditched class and assaulted a classmate. She broke Miss Serket’s prosthetic arm, gave her too many minor injuries to even count, and caused a scene in front of the entire student body,” Principal Snowman stated, very matter-of-factly. She wasn’t someone that students considered strict, she was in fact very kind until you wound up in her office, at which point she became very stern and asked you to reflect on why you did what you’d done to be there. Very few students had return visits to Snowman’s office. “And as for Damara, she has proven herself to be too much of a problem to continue with Skaia High. I’m afraid I have to recommend Continuation School in the summer if she wants to graduate at all.”  
     “No! I- I sorry, Miss Snowman. I study hard, I be good,” Damara begged.  
     “I’m sorry, Miss Megido, but we had an agreement last time I spoke with you and your mother that there would be no more outbursts, and then you punched Meenah Peixes.”  
     “But she… she speak bad about sister. I do it for sister. No more. Promise.”  
     Snowman scrunched her face. It was clear she wanted better for Damara, but there were obviously limits of what lines could be crossed.  
     “How about this. I can call Miss Peixes in here, and if you can apologize to her, and promise me no more violence, we can keep you on track to graduate on time. I’ve been monitoring your progress and since your return, you’ve been doing much better. But this is the last time I can offer this.”  
     “Yes, I… I can do.”  
     Hana gave Damara a small smile, and a subtle nod that said ‘I’m proud of you’, and the two left the room, leaving just Aradia, Daniel, and Snowman.  
     “Now, Aradia, this behavior is so unlike you. Why would you attack Vriska in the way that you did?”  
   “She’s a lying, manipulative brat who abused my emotions,” Aradia answered, no hint of remorse in her voice. Daniel was basically snarling with anger at her, and normally she would take the situation more seriously but she was past the point of even caring.  
   “I see… did you think about it before you chose to go find her, or was it impulsive?”  
   “I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me.”  
   “Alright… Well, Aradia, since this is your first infraction, I can give you a minor suspension. One week. And no more of this,” Snowman said.  
     “That’s fine,” Daniel snarled. “Let’s go.” He pulled Aradia out of the chair by her arm and stormed out of the office. “I don’t know what to say to you right now, Aradia. Not only am I furious, I am so god damn disappointed in you.”

     Aradia ignored her dad as much as she could for the rest of the day, locking herself in her room through dinner. She’d been up there since she got home, and since there had been a lot of loud shouting and a couple of smashed dishes. She figured it would be best to avoid people for a while, and that she’d be grounded and in her room anyway, so may as well make it on her terms.  
 A few hours went by and Aradia’s phone pinged, Pesterchum going off. Sollux, of course. Nobody else seemed to give a damn about her.

twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

TA: hey, aradia…  
TA: remember a while ago, when i told you i was going to therapy?  
TA: my appointment is later today, and  
TA: i still wanted you to come with me, if you could.  
TA: i know you’re in a lot of trouble with your dad right now but…  
AA: dont worry about it sollux  
AA: ill find a way to be there  
TA: can i ask you something?  
AA: why the hell not  
TA: why did you beat the shit out of vriska? i know she’s no angel but that was  
TA: a lot  
AA: she tricked me manipulated a relationship and abused a good friend of mine and it was about time someone made her pay for it  
AA: simple as that  
TA: jeez  
TA: maybe we both need help.  
AA: yeah  
AA: maybe

apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA]

     Aradia let out a long groan. Therapy was the last thing she wanted to deal with, but she had promised Sollux weeks ago that she would be there for him, and despite wanting to cut ties with almost everyone, she still craved Sollux’s friendship. She longed for the closeness they used to have. In the last few months, they had only grown more distant, and every time he looked away from her left a sting. So she went. She crawled out her window, left through the backyard gate, and walked down to Sollux’s house. She supposed it would only cause more problems with her father later, but that didn’t matter.

     Aradia knocked on Sollux’s door, her short hair bristling at her shoulders. When Sollux answered the door, a smile fought its way to the surface of Aradia’s face. Sollux, on the other hand, was visibly upset already, and concerned with Aradia’s change of appearance. Her muted reds and beiges and greys were replaced with black and harsh blues and reds, a short skirt with rips, a ratty band t-shirt, and knee-high socks. Instead of the quiet, sweet freshman that her wardrobe used to advertise, Aradia now appeared to be the walking embodiment of “too punk rock for you”. She cocked her head sideways at Sollux, who was still looking at her oddly.  
     “I needed a change, Sol. Raided some of Damara’s old stuff. She’s getting too goody-goody to pull it off anymore anyway.”  
   “Er… it’s just… different. Let’s go,” he murmured, voice morose and dissonant. He and Aradia made their way to the car while Sollux’s dads locked the house behind them. Aradia wondered about Simon, but was still pretty off-put by him and didn’t think it worth asking.

     The car ride was quiet, something clearly on every one of the Captors’ minds. Sollux was nervously looking around, every so often bringing his attention away from the window. Aradia didn’t want to say anything. There was something odd going on with him. She just bobbed her head to the _Panic! At the Disco_ playing in her head until the car lurched over in a parking lot. Sollux looked up, blinking rapidly.  
     “Are we here?” he asked, grabbing Barry’s shoulder over the seat.  
     “We’re here… don’t worry, Sollux. Everything will be fine. We just want you to talk to her.”  
     “Come on, kids,” Carl said from outside the car. “This way.”

     Aradia followed Sollux and his dads up the stairs of the office building, into what to seemed to be a doctor’s office. After a long time of waiting, in which time paperwork was being done by Sollux’s dads, ‘Mr. Captor’ was called by an older woman, waiting at the door. She didn’t look like a doctor, but Aradia supposed that she wasn’t a medical doctor, persay. She didn’t stand when Sollux did. Aradia didn’t stand until he started walking towards the door, and gave an uneasy look back over his shoulder, and only then did the three make their way down the hall. The woman clutched a clipboard, holding it close to her chest, and she was wearing a light cardigan and jeans with flats. She glanced at Sollux, fumbling with his glasses, and Aradia. Nobody being sure what to make of the situation, all three walked into the office. There was a desk, Aradia supposing that’s where she did her paperwork, a couch, chairs, a coffee table, plenty of things to fiddle with; rubix cubes and toys and such- it felt more like she was sitting in someone’s home than a doctor’s office. The woman sat in a chair across from the couch, flipping through a few papers. Sollux remained standing, holding the bottom hem of his t-shirt, arms locked straight down. The doctor looked up at him.  
     “You can sit down, I was just going over some… have a seat.”  
     Sollux sat, still quite tense as Aradia crossed in front of him and sat on the other side of the couch.  
     “Ok. Sollux! Or, do you prefer ‘Mr. Captor’?”  
     “S-Sollux is fine, or- or Sol.”  
     “Nice to meet you. I’m Whitney Queen. You can call me Whitney, or Ms. Queen, or WQ, if you have a penchant for nicknames. And… you brought your…” Whitney’s voice trailed off, sounding unsure, though the tone was somewhat insinuating of a relationship.  
     “Friend! Friend, she’s…uh, a… friend,” Sollux exclaimed. Aradia sank into her seat a bit.  
     “Friend,” Whitney repeated, glancing at Aradia. “Noted.”  
     “I’m here for moral support,” Aradia muttered.  
     “Right, well that’s fine. Now, Sollux. Your fathers have taken care of everything, and I want you to know that I, and any other therapist, work with 100% patient confidentiality. Anything you tell me will not leave this room. It stays within my walls. I’m here to listen and help you, and- miss…?”  
     “Aradia.”  
     “Yes, Aradia, you’re welcome to share with me as well, if there’s anything you feel you need to share or just get off your chest.”  
     Aradia nodded at Whitney, but didn’t want to detract from Sollux’s time with his therapist.  
   “With all the formalities out of the way, let’s get started. Sollux, why don’t you tell me how you’re feeling?”  
     “Right now? Eheh… nervous, I guess,” Sollux lisped.  
     “Why do you think that is?”  
     “Well, I mean… I’m talking to a stranger about my problems… sorry, but I don’t really know you. And, to be honest, I’m kind of afraid I’m going to walk out of here with some kind of diagnosis of something. I’ve been… doing research and am really afraid of what I might find out by being here. I don’t… think I’m mentally well.”  
     “What makes you say that?”  
     “I’m sure this is written in records somewhere but I’ve been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for… a long time. A few years, at least. And now I’ve been in, like, these weird mood swings. For huge chunks of time. Like, sometimes I’m fine and I’m normal like now but sometimes I’ll be antisocial for weeks at a time and have no motivation to do anything, not even get out of my bed, but I make myself and it drains me out, but other times I have a ton of energy and stay up all night coding, for days at a time… and I don’t like what I’ve read online and I don’t want to have to take pills for everything… it’s just so frustrating.”  
     “Well, Sollux, you should know that, while I can give you a diagnosis, if you want one, therapists cannot prescribe medicine. You’d need to see a psychiatrist if you gain any desire for any kind of medication. I’m very glad you told me that, though. So, how has this been affecting your behavior at school?”  
     “I mean, I still go to school and I still do the work, but it’s very hard to get through sometimes. When I’m feeling unmotivated, between that and everything I already am self-conscious of, it’s like dragging myself through 24 hours worth of a mud pit. Feels terrible.”  
     “What are you self-conscious about?”  
     “My appearance, mostly. I have heterochromia, and glasses, and braces…”

   The next half-hour went on like that. Whitney would ask a question and Sollux would answer, while Aradia sat and listened and was there on behalf of her friend. She perked up at one specific question.  
     “Sollux, we have about ten minutes left. Do you want to talk more about your mood fluctucations?”  
     Sollux hesitated in answering, taking a long breath before saying anything. “Mm... is it okay if we come back to that another time?”  
     “Of course. I’m not here to pressure you into saying anything. Well, we do still have ten minutes. Aradia, anything you’d like to talk about?”  
     Aradia sat up, a bit caught off-guard that the attention had suddenly shifted to her.  
     “Yeah, actually, a lot I’d like to talk about, but I don’t think we have time for my problems,” she responded, absolutely dripping with sarcasm. “For one thing, I just got suspended, therefore grounded, and snuck out of my house to be here.”  
     “I see…” Whitney responded. “What did you get suspended for?”  
     “Beating the shit out of another girl. But to be fair, she’s been screwing with me and my relationships all year.”  
     “How did your parents react?”  
     “My dad is pissed to high hell, and I don’t really care how my stepmom feels. She’s no substitute for my mom.”  
     “Mhm… So, why were you so mad at this girl?”  
     “Basically what happened is she and this other dude tricked me into dating him, knowing full well I had… have… had… romantic feelings for someone else… I wasn’t very happy when I was with this guy and it felt very one-sided but I was going through some emotional stuff and couldn’t bring myself to break it off, and then I found out Vriska was behind the whole thing and I guess I just lost my cool. Slapped Equius around a little bit too, now that I think of it. And, to make it even better, the guy I did have feelings for is with someone else now. My best friend, actually, but I’m not going to be mad at her. I was… dating someone else when that happened anyway.” Aradia finished her monologue with a clearly fake laugh. Sollux was just looking at her. It was the most she’d said to him in months, albeit not directly to him. Whitney was also just looking at her.  
     “Ah, well, things change very fast in high school. If it bothers you, I would talk to your friend. I know relationships can be hard, I’m very sorry to hear you were manipulated. But-”  
     “Violence is never the answer, right?”  
     “Er- yeah. Acting out like that is never going to go well for you, I promise. Don’t let your emotions get bottled up. Talk to people.”  
     “Yeah, well I don’t necessarily have that outlet. My family sucks.”  
     “Just hang in there. If you ever need to come by with Sollux again, you’re more than welcome to.”  
     “Thanks…”  
     “Of course. But for now, our session is over. Sollux, see you next week?”  
     Sollux shrugged. “Guess so.”  
     And with that, the kids left. Sollux’s dads were in the parking lot, waiting for Sollux and Aradia to come down.  
     “Aradia… thanks for coming,” Sollux murmured.  
     “Mhm.”  
     “And, by the way, Feferi and I broke up.”


	12. Wearing A Lot of Purple

     Aradia couldn’t help but feel happy as she came home, but it was a sick kind of happiness. She was happy that she potentially had a shot at being with Sollux again, but she couldn’t help but be mad at herself for that same happiness, because it was at Feferi’s expense. But Sollux hadn’t seemed too torn up about it, and if it was from his end, Feferi was a very understanding person. Aradia supposed it was most likely a mutual break-off, but she hadn’t heard from Feferi outside of school in quite some time. She resolved to message her once she got home.  
     But that cheerful attitude was short lived, once Aradia got back home. She came in through the front door, hoping she could sneak into her room unnoticed enough, but that plan was a bust the minute the door opened. Daniel was sitting inside, waiting for her.  
     “Eh- hi… Dad…” Aradia said as she came inside.  
     “And just where have you been, young lady?”  
     “With Sollux.”  
     “Doing what, exactly?”  
     “Please, Dad. Ladies never kiss and tell,” Aradia said, a thin smirk growing across her face. She was being reckless and she knew it, but it was fun to see how worked up she could get her dad.  
     “If any boy lays a hand on you, I’ll cut their fingers off one by one,” Daniel hissed. “I ain’t appreciative of your behavior lately. Suspension, fist fights, sneaking around with some boy.”  
     Aradia’s smile vanished, replaced by a livid frown. Her face flamed up, both with embarrassment and with anger. “Sollux _isn’t_ just some boy, he’s one of my best friends. I’ve known him for… forever, and you know that, and you still don’t trust him?! God, Dad, sometimes you just- just make me want to scream!”  
     “Listen, I know what boys are like, ‘cause I was the same way. All after one thing.”  
     “Just because _you_ were an ass in high school doesn’t mean everyone is. Sollux cares about me. And I find it the slightest bit ironic you’re mad at me for picking a fight when you’re the one who was in a _literal gang_ in college. Isn’t that how you met Spencer, and Clyde and Harold?!”  
     Daniel’s anger dissipated for a moment. “Yeah… you’re right, hon. We did some fucked up stuff, and I don’ want to see you heading down that same path. Guess I always thought you was more like your mother than your old man. You don’t want to be like me. Took me too long to get my act together.”  
     “Well, maybe I _am_ like you, Dad… maybe I was tired of being quiet and calm and suppressing all my emotions, and maybe I’m tired of being compared to Mom. I look like her, I act like her… I’m not her.”  
     “You’re right, you ain’t your mom…”  
     “Mom is _gone._ And she’s never coming back…” Aradia muttered, a swell of sadness in her heart. “And if you must know, Sollux didn’t touch me. He had a therapy appointment, and wanted me to come with him. Kinda helped, actually…” She stalked off to her room, but she knew the discussion about her behavior wasn’t over. Something big was coming. She could feel it.

     It came very quickly. Aradia couldn’t help but hear everything in her small house, listening as Daniel rose from the chair and came into the bedroom right next to Aradia’s. There was a creak from the springs as he sat on the bed, and then a woman’s voice came. Hana’s.  
     “Is she okay?” she asked, voice thick with concern. It was almost touching how invested Hana was in Aradia’s well-being. Almost.  
   “She’s fine. Went to therapy with Captors’ kid. I don’t know what to do with her. I’m… afraid, Hana, for my daughter’s well-being.”  
     “Therapy?”  
     “Not for her, but, she said it helped. I don’t want to send her to some head-shrink, though, and expect that to solve all our problems.”  
     “No, I do not trust therapists. Scratch could be lurking anywhere in this city. He has been looking for me.”  
     “Hana… I need to ask. You’ve never been clear with what this Scratch fellow did to you that was so awful. I understand you not being ready to talk about it, but I feel I have a right to know.”  
     Hana gave a deep sigh. “Doctor Scratch was my only parental figure. I was abandoned on his doorstep at a very young age. As an infant. And he took me in; raised me as his daughter. And when I was young, he was kind, and I was grateful. I owed him everything. But as I got older; 10, 11 years old, he began to treat me differently. He never let me forget that I owed him everything. I became his housekeeper, scrubbing the floor and doing the laundry and cooking every meal, and when I messed up he would lock me in my room for days at a time; wouldn’t give me dinner some nights. When I was 13 he started homeschooling me to keep me away from the other kids; to keep me quiet. He liked having a close watch over me, and things only continued to get worse… he called me so many horrible things, threatened to throw me back out on the street, reminded me he was the only reason I was even alive. He was never physically abusive, but he had this way of talking, that just made me hate myself. He always turned it around on me, twisted my emotions. Terrible man, really. When I turned 16, he insisted that I get my first job, and that it be as the secretary to his psychiatric office. I was under his thumb, every waking moment of my life for two years. I wanted to die, and I tried to a couple times. Every time, though, I pulled through, and there was his face, putting on a sick, worried act. He would say he was sorry, he didn’t know what he’d do if he lost me, his precious little handmaid. Despicable lies. Not for my sake, but for the doctors and nurses. The man was scarily manipulative. He had this way that made anyone else around him feel guilty for things they shouldn’t feel guilty for, and never once admitted he was at fault. It was almost as if he just knew… everything. I was always afraid for his patients. A man like that should not be a psychological practitioner, therapist or no. But I decided to leave on my 18th birthday. And that’s what I did- scraped together every penny I had, gathered my things and left in the middle of the night. I lived out of a motel for a little while, looking for a place to live in the meantime. I found an apartment and a new job and I worked hard to pay rent. Found a guy, had Damara… then that bastard left… and things got hard again. I had to downsize to an even smaller place. I started looking for a job that would pay more, and who should step back into my life after 10 years of leaving me alone? None other than Scratch himself, of course. He called one night out of the blue, leaving no time for me to speak, let alone ask how he’d tracked me down, and he offered me a position in his new offices, overseas in America. I had to go back to working for him. I knew that it was my best chance to get away; have a better future for Damara. So I came here under the pretense that I was still working for him, and abruptly ran again, finding a place for me and my daughter. But I know Scratch is never far behind me. I know he’s been in this area. I don’t think it wise to send Aradia back to therapy. I don’t even want to think of what might happen if Scratch finds her. That pale, hollow face… those impossibly bright green eyes… I can still feel him watching sometimes…”  
     Hana’s cheeks were tear-stained, her eyes watering as she recounted her childhood to Daniel. Aradia stepped away from the wall she’d been pressing her ear against, and for the first time, felt a knot of sympathy in her heart for her stepmom. She was starting to understand why her own life had been turned on its head so abruptly. Hana never had a happy life before Daniel. So of course they married quickly. Of course things were different.  
     Aradia heard her father stand up off the bed as Hana composed herself.  
     “Christ,” he murmured. “I need a drink after that.”  
     “There’s wine in the fridge,” Hana answered, “but I didn’t buy any liquor at the store today, sorry.”  
     “Wine? Eh. Fuck it. Let’s just go to the bar.”  
     “Your bar. That’s packed right now.”  
     “I’m pretty sure they can get the owner and his wife a drink.”  
     And the two were off to _The Midnight Brew._ Aradia flopped onto her bed and closed her eyes, thinking one thing and one thing only. _Shit._

 

 

 

apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC]

AA: hey feferi  
CC: Oh! Hey Aradia!  
AA: sollux told me about  
AA: your guyses breakup  
AA: so i just wanted to see how you were doing  
CC: Oh, right. That.  
CC: Well, I’m not really that worked up about it, to be honest.  
CC: It was a mutual break.  
CC: I have had, uh, a lot of drama and just… been busy. And he has been quite emotional about his own problems lately, and at the end of the day we just didn’t click together in that way.  
AA: really…  
CC: Yeah, sometimes I found it hard to tell if we were even dating.  
CC: I think he just needed someone to talk to.  
AA: yeah, i can understand that  
CC: I heard you and Equius broke up too.  
CC: How’re you feeling?  
AA: actually, really good  
AA: equius and i never really got along that well  
CC: Well, I’m sorry to hear that.  
CC: Listen, Aradia, I’d love to talk more, but I really have to go.  
CC: See you at school!

cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

     With that aside, Aradia was ready to go back to school. Or, so she thought. The minute she came into the main room, she knew something was up. She could tell from the look on her father’s face, and Hana’s too, that there was something they were about to say.  
     “What is it,” she asked outright, before either of them had said so much as ‘good morning’.  
     “What?” Hana asked, a bit surprised.  
     “There’s some life-changing thing you want to tell me this morning.”  
     “Oh, we just got you a new outfit for school!” Hana answered through a big fake smile. “Come on, it’s over here.” She dragged Aradia to the small closet hiding in the main room and whisked the door open, grabbing a hanger and showing Aradia. On the hanger was a white collared shirt that was paired with a black tie, a black pleated skirt, and a deep purple blazer. On the left breast of the blazer was intricate embroidery in blues and blacks and a small amount of gold, a capital “D” in a school crest. Aradia furrowed her brow.  
     “This isn’t a new outfit, it’s a uniform…” she said, resignation weighing her down. She felt it coming.  
     “We thought it’d be a good idea to send you to a new school,” Daniel said. “At least for the rest of this year. We can see how it goes.”  
     “Derse Academy for Troubled Teens, right?”


	13. Derse Academy for Troubled Teens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia starts at her new school, and has a conversation she immediately regrets.  
> Also, birthday party and Karkat having problems.

      The new school wasn’t so bad. Yes, uniforms sucked, and yes, Aradia hardly got to see her friends, but the staff was all very nice, and if she had a bad mental health day, they treated it like an actual sick day, and she was allowed to return home (or not show up at all) as long as she made up all the work. But she missed Sollux, and Feferi, and even Equius a little bit. There were even times where she missed the short-lived period of time she was in Japanese classes. It was another odd time of transition in her life, and she wasn’t sure how to handle it.  
     Time passed, and Aradia still had a lot of anger in her, but she did stop acting out. Instead, all her aggressive energy was thrown into writing. Poems and short stories steeped in turmoil, feelings of betrayal and deceit. Her English teacher was thrilled with some of her works, despite it not being a creative writing class. Friends would still message Aradia on Pesterchum, Feferi wanting to talk about all the gossip from Skaia High, Vriska taunting her on occasion. Aradia even chatted with Kanaya, both girls talking about their respective crushes. It wasn’t until sometime in April that things got weird again.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

GA: Aradia  
GA: I know this is highly unusual from me, but I need your help.  
GA: I am in a bad situation.  
AA: whats going on?  
GA: I have told you about Rose.  
AA: yes  
GA: Well, the situation is as such: she went to a party with her older sister not very long ago, and I suppose she had a drink there, and has been binge drinking since then.  
GA: I fear she is on a self-destructive path, much as you were not long ago.  
GA: She will not listen to me, and I do not wish to lecture her, at risk of no longer presenting myself in a romantic way; rather in a platonic way.  
AA: are you asking me to talk some sense into her  
GA: Only if it would not be too much of an imposition on my part  
AA: i can help but  
AA: i dont think she will listen to me  
AA: i never spoke much to her or the others  
AA: how do i even get in contact with her?  
GA: Her screenname is tentacleTherapist  
AA: …interesting  
AA: ill chat with her  
GA: Thank you, Aradia

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] has ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

AA: what do you think you are doing?  
AA: just stop  
AA: stop stop stop stop stop stop  
AA: maybe if i say it enough something else will happen instead of the thing that is happening  
TT: Ah, I had a feeling this might happen.  
TT: Kanaya sent you, didn’t she?  
AA: you arent going to stop are you?  
TT: You want me to stop drinking too?  
AA: i know it can be exciting  
AA: breaking yourself  
AA: and not worrying about it  
AA: but there are consequences to humoring your self-destructive impulses  
AA: and consequences to…  
TT: Hmm?  
AA: nevermind  
TT: You seem frustrated.  
TT: Like you know you can’t change me.  
AA: i hardly know you and i know what i say means nothing  
AA: that knowing is the same as this sick feeling thats been with me for months  
AA: probably since before i died come to think of it  
TT: You… died?  
AA: metaphorically  
AA: i just wish  
AA: back when i was behaving recklessly  
AA: i had someone to tell me to stop  
AA: even if i ended up ignoring their advice  
AA: point being  
AA: you have people around you that care about you and are concerned for your well-being  
AA: you should think about that before you bug and fuss and meddle with dangerous things  
AA: what good do you really think could come of it?  
TT: Do you know anything about my situation?  
AA: no  
AA: i know someone will get hurt if you are reckless  
AA: you still havent gathered that you are the problem  
AA: im through contributing to other peoples problems  
TT: Well  
TT: Aren’t you doing that regardless?  
AA: maybe  
AA: but im just talking  
AA: maybe the things i say will trigger your actions  
AA: maybe not who knows  
AA: maybe!  
AA: maybe if i behave in a manner so random people wont know how to handle it!  
AA: blah bloo blee bluH!@#$%^&*()  
AA: didnt see that one coming did you?  
TT: O_O  
AA: hahah oh wow im sure you were just being facetious with that but you have no idea how funny that is right now  
AA: you had no way of knowing thats a thing i used to do all the time but with zeroes  
AA: this is great  
AA: anyway  
AA: goodbye rose  
AA: nothing i say will make a difference  
AA: enjoy your rampant indiscretions  
TT: Don’t go!  
TT: You were very interesting.

apocalypseArisen [AA] has ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

 

Aradia slammed her head on her desk. That conversation went about as well as she’d expected, _and_ she’d lost her temper. Why did Kanaya even ask that favor? What good could she have possibly done? Aradia had no idea who Rose was; what she was going through. Was it even her business if a girl had a few drinks? No. Aradia growled in frustration, pushing a small ceramic sheep off her desk. It bounced on the carpeted floor.  
     “Why won’t you just break?!” she shouted, then took a deep breath. No. Breaking things wasn’t the answer.

     Aradia went to school the next day in a funk. She couldn’t get her mind off that conversation with Rose, and how it wasn’t really her business what Rose did or didn’t do, even if it was done of the sake of a friend. And yet something in her wanted to know Rose better. It was a sudden regret that she hadn’t made more of an effort to be friends with her, or Jade or Dave or John. They had seemed nice enough, and Rose was probably the kind of person she would get along with. And she missed all her old friends, too. Especially Feferi and Sollux. Sollux had been suspiciously quiet on Pesterchum since she changed schools, even after mentioning his break-up with Feferi. Aradia wasn’t sure if he was avoiding her, or was just nervous about starting something again.  
     That day went by slowly, the only saving grace being that it was Friday, and Aradia’s birthday was that weekend; April 4th. Her dad picked her up from school, and instead of driving straight home, he went in the opposite direction.  
     “Dad, where are we going?” Aradia asked. Daniel simply gave a light-hearted chuckle. It was seemingly out of character for him. It was a quick drive, and Daniel stopped at the community park. Aradia stepped out of the car, shedding her blazer as she went, to find all her friends there; snacks and pizza and cake filling up the picnic tables.  
     “Surprise!” they all shouted. Aradia couldn’t help but smile. She hadn’t planned a birthday party for herself and didn’t really expect one at all. The gesture was overwhelmingly kind.  
     “Whose idea was this?” Aradia asked through her smile. “Feferi?”  
     “No,” Feferi shook her head. “It was Sollux’s.”  
     “Just… wanted to see you happy,” Sollux muttered. Aradia threw her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.  
     “Thank you sooooo much Sollux!”

     The party was not wild, and the kids mostly just hung out. Vriska made a game of challenging the others to a soda-drinking contest if they crossed her path, but eventually people just started avoiding her. Aradia and Feferi caught up with each other, talking about the differences between Skaia High and Derse Academy. Sollux had been pulled aside by Karkat for quite a while, but eventually he returned and approached Aradia.  
     “Hey,” he said.  
     “Oh, hey, Sollux. Thanks again for the party.”  
     “Yeah well… everybody missed you. Even Vriska, odd enough.”  
     “Even after I punched her?”  
     “Yeah, you’re… important. To everyone here.” Aradia softly chuckled. “Important to me…” Sollux continued. He glanced over at her. “Listen, I was… dumb, before, and nervous about… relationships and stuff. I know we never… dated or anything, but I always thought we… had something. And when I was with FF… she kind of reminded me of you, and I thought that if I was thinking of you instead of her… maybe we- you and I, I mean… maybe we were supposed to be together, and…”  
     “Sollux, are you..." Aradia was abruptly interrupted by a loud shout.       
     “HOLY SHIT!” Karkat yelled into his phone. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”  
     Everyone turned to look at him, Sollux blushing furiously. “Karkat, you FUCKER!” Sollux yelled, storming over. “Can you not lose your shit for one day?!”  
     “Well excuse me, shithead. I need to go now. My dad just got shot.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyyyy soooo only a couple more chapters in Aradia's story left to go. THis one is shorter than usual but everything I wanted in this chapter is here so...  
> I took most of the dialogue from her conversation with Rose straight from Homestuck. That conversation is too good to not be included here so there it is.


	14. Corpse Party

     “Nepeta, come on.” Karkat ran off, not so much as even waiting for a ride as he dragged Nepeta behind him. Aradia supposed she wouldn’t wait either, if it was her dad that’d been shot, though it did kind of put a damper on the party. Aradia approached her father.  
     “Dad… maybe we should wrap this up,” she whispered. Daniel nodded and went about gathering up the kids. Those who could called someone for a ride home, and those who couldn’t went with Daniel. But the only two that took Mr. Droog up on the offer were Gamzee and Equius. Gamzee needing a ride didn’t surprise Aradia in the least. His father was basically an absentee parent, and his brother… well, she knew Gamzee had a brother, and that he was just as strange as the other Makara boy, and that was about it. Equius needing a ride, now that was unusual. Typically Aurthour was at his beck and call when it came to driving.  
     Once everyone else had left, Daniel and Aradia climbed into the front seats of the car, with the two boys in the back. There was an odd tension in the car. Part of that was just tension between an ex-girlfriend and boyfriend, and the fact that Daniel had _never_ liked Equius, but there also seemed to be tension between Equius and Gamzee. Gamzee looked even crazier than usual. His hair was beyond unkempt; it was simply wild, his eyes bloodshot and his ridiculous clown makeup looking even more ridiculous, being smudged all over. He had a sickening grin plastered across his face and kept glancing over at Equius across the seat, who smiled back, but it was an uneasy, nervous smile. There were bruises around Equius’s neck, too. Aradia couldn’t help but glance at the two in the mirror, quietly eyeing each other in the back seat.  
     “So, Equius, where’s your dad?” Aradia asked, trying to lighten the mood.  
     “He, er, had Aurthour take him out. Business meeting or something of the like…” Equius answered, sweating a bit.  
     “Ah…. Gamzee, your dad busy too?”  
     “If I motherfuckin’ told you, sis, I’d have to motherfuckin’ kill you,” Gamzee replied, letting out a deep, spine-chilling chuckle at his own sick humor. Daniel just about slammed on the brakes.  
     “Do _not._ Speak to my daughter like that,” he hissed. “Don’t even joke about killing. Anyone.”  
     “Dad, let’s just _go,_ ” Aradia pleaded under her breath.  
     “You friends with that kid?” Daniel asked as the car sped back up.  
     “Friend… by association. I’m… _friends_ with Sollux, who’s friends with Karkat, who’s friends with… Gamzee.”  
     “Nah, sis, we’re fuckin’ friends,” Gamzee slurred. Aradia slumped her head over, faking a smile at her father. “What, we ain’t friends? You don’t fuckin’ like having me around?” Daniel pulled over at Gamzee’s house. “That’s fuckin’ fine, sis, I’ll just be on my motherfuckin’ way,” Gamzee hissed before slamming the door behind him. Aradia shuddered. There was definitely something off with Gamzee, moreso than before.  
     “Such vulgar language,” Equius murmured.  
     “I don’t like him,” Daniel said.  
     “Agreed.”  
     “Hey, I don’t like you either, kid.”  
     Aradia twisted around in her seat to face Equius. “Equius, did something… happen between you and Gamzee?” she asked.  
     “What- why on Earth would you ask something like that?”  
     “Well, because Gamzee looked totally off his rocker; like, moreso than is normal for him, and you looked scared out of your mind that he was back there with you. And you have these massive bruises all around your neck, like, someone was trying to strangle you.”  
     “Yes… well… I was practicing sparring with Mr. Makara and things got… a little out of hand.”  
     “Mm…” Aradia pursed her lips and faced forward again, not really sure how much she believed Equius. At least his unsettled smile was gone.  
     They were quiet for the rest of the drive, Equius only saying ‘thank you’ when Daniel stopped at his house. As Equius went inside, Aradia looked over at her father.  
     “Boys are weird,” she muttered. “Were you like that when you were younger?”  
     “You don’t wanna know what I was like when I was younger.”  
     “Dad, I already know you were in a gang, if that's what you mean.”  
     "Yeah, I was the lady's-man and the leader. Well, Spencer was meant to be the leader but he was too hot-headed to lead properly."  
     “Heh, sounds like Karkat,”  
     “Spencer probably rubbed off on the kid. Hey, don’t be like me. We did a lot of stupid shit, and it took me too long to stop screwing around.”  
     “Hmm.”  
     The Midnight Crew had long since disbanded, though _The Midnight Brew_ was indeed a nod to Daniel’s ‘hey-day’, and it was still an interesting position for Aradia to imagine her father in. Aradia wondered how everyone’s parents were when they were younger, and then she thought of Karkat’s dad, and she hoped he would be okay.

     A few days later, Aradia got her answer. Karkat made a massive group chat.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] started group message: FUCK

apocalypseArisen [AA] is online  
twinArmageddons [TA] is online  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] is online  
arachnidsGrip [AG] is online  
cuttlefishCuller [CC] is online  
ectoBiologist [EB] is online  
turntechGodhead [TG] is online

CG: Hey everyone.  
CG: So…  
CG: My dad…he  
CG: Didn’t make it  
CC: Karkat, I’m so sorry!  
TG: fucking blows dude  
CG: Don’t be sarcastic, Strider  
TG: im not  
TG: it may shock you to know that i am in fact  
TG: capable of sincerity  
TG: give me the benefit of the doubt dude  
TG: instead of jumping all over me the minute i open my mouth  
TG: all in my business like youre trying to hop on my dick  
CG: GROSS, fuck off  
TG: nah man the fuck is on  
TG: your sympathy fuck i mean  
TG: looking for one?  
TA: wouldn’t put it past him.  
TG: haha nice one man  
CG: You FUCKERS!  
CG: Stop ganging up on me, it’s seriously not cool.  
CG: I’m having an honest to God crisis  
AG: Honestly, Karkat, when _aren’t_ you having a crisis?  
CG: UUUUGH forget it.  
CG: Why did I think I could talk to you assholes?  
EB: guys, come on.  
EB: karkat just lost someone important to him.  
EB: i don’t think its the time for dick jokes.  
TG: what are you like his boyfriend or something?  
EB: dave, no.  
EB: i’m not…  
EB: i’m straight, dave.  
TG: sure  
TG: youre about as straight as i am  
TG: but sure  
CG: Egbert, PLEASE, I DON’T need your fucking help.  
CG: Strider, SHUT UP.  
AG: Soooooooo........  
AG: What exactly was the point of this group chat?  
AG: Half of us aren’t even online right now.  
TA: man i wish i wasn’t.  
CG: I was trying to get to that  
CG: I could honestly use some moral support right now  
CG: So you’re all invited to the funeral  
CG: Not that any of you will actually show up  
CG: Now leave me alone.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] has closed group message: FUCK

 

Karkat logged out before Aradia responded to any of what anyone had said, but she resolved to be at the funeral. She knew how it felt to lose somebody, and refused to let a friend go through what she’d gone through alone.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

AA: hey karkat  
AA: i know you want to be left alone right now  
AA: but i just wanted to say im here for you  
AA: ive been there  
AA: and if you need someone to talk to you can talk to me  
AA: ill be at the funeral and ill make sure sollux is there too  
AA: just because some of them are being jerks doesnt mean you dont have friends to help you through hard times  
AA: dont seclude yourself for too long  
AA: it doesnt help

 

    After a while, Karkat started typing.

CG: Thanks.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]

 

     The funeral came very quickly, and as promised, Aradia was there with Sollux. Not everybody showed up. Nepeta was there, of course, and Kanaya, with Rose by her side. Terezi was there, standing next to Karkat, and not with her signature grin for once, and Feferi, and John, Dave and Jade. Damara came with Aradia, too, but avoided Kankri for the most part. Aradia wasn’t sure if it was Kankri himself she was avoiding, or the fact that Cronus was following Kankri like a shadow, but she was glad Damara had come at all. Aradia also recognized Sollux’s uncle Simon, and Spencer, a friend of her dad’s, as well as all of Kanaya’s family, and Nepeta’s mom and sister.  
     Once the funeral started, a pastor did most of the speaking, telling them that they’d gathered not to mourn the passing of Solomon Vantas, but rather to celebrate his life, that he would leave a memory with everyone he’d met, and everything he’d probably said at every funeral he’d ever spoken at. And then, once he’d finished, Mrs. Leijon took his place behind the microphone.  
     “Solomon Vantas was… one of the kindest, greatest people I ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was so inspirational to me, so influential to the world; how he was just… always trying to help whoever he could, always trying to make peace or find a diplomatic way around a problem- that was all he wanted to be. A diplomat. He wanted to make a better future for his kids, for my kids… Solomon was… my best friend, and my first love. When we met in high school, I knew I’d found someone I could confide in. Someone I knew I wanted in my life. He had such an idealistic concept of what the world could be. And… oh, the way he lit up when we talked about how we could improve the world, leave our mark… and then we fell in love… and then… both left for different colleges. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to find him again, but I was. I swore I’d never lose him again. And yet, here we are. Solomon Vantas was… a great man, who did great things, and I will _not_ let that be in vain. He may be gone, but the impact that he’s had will be with us forever.”  
     She stepped down, tears streaming down her face. Sollux leaned over and whispered in Aradia’s ear. “Jeez, she really _did_ love him…” Aradia nodded. She was hardly aware that Nepeta’s mom and Karkat’s dad were a _thing._ She looked closer at Mrs. Leijon as she whispered something to Kankri and Karkat. Karkat shook his head no, but Kankri nodded and stood, and took her place at the podium.  
     “My father was an ambitious, idealistic man. He was always trying to do something to help someone, and help this town. Someone I always admired, and from this day on I will be taking up his cause and do my best to be as he was. Thank you for everything, Dad,” Kankri said, looking up as though Solomon was watching over them.

     The reception was, well, fine- a more appropriate setting for socialization, if anything. Damara approached Kankri, despite the Cronus hanging almost over his shoulders.  
     “I sorry… is hard, not having a dad,” she said, quite genuinely. She and Kankri didn’t quite get along, but she understood loss and broken families. Kankri raised an eyebrow, almost scoffing at her.  
     “I hardly need your pity, Damara,” Kankri said. “It was his time, I suppose. It comes for all of us. Though I fear, with your lifestyle it may come knocking soon. No good can come from drugs and sex.”  
     It took every ounce of self-restraint Damara had to not slap Kankri across the face right then and there. Instead she took a quiet breath. “I change, Kankri. Doing better things for me. Wish you could say the same. Still such an asshole, you are.” Damara marched away, back to Aradia and Sollux.  
     “Well he seems in oddly high spirits,” Aradia muttered.  
     “Give your well-wishes,” Damara huffed. “We go soon.” Aradia glanced around the room, looking for Karkat. He seemed to have taken it the hardest, and he was nowhere to be found.  
     “Sollux, where would Karkat be?”  
     “His room, probably.”

     Sollux led Aradia to Karkat’s room, angsty music barely leaking out under the closed door.  
     “Yeah, he’s in there,” Sollux whispered. “Want me to come in too?”  
     “No, I kinda just want to talk to him.” Sollux shrugged and wandered back downstairs as Aradia lightly rapped her knuckles on the closed door. “Karkat?” she called, “Can I come in?”  
     “Go away!” Aradia cracked the door open and poked her head inside anyway. “I thought I sa- oh, it’s you.” Karkat mumbled.  
     “Who did you think it was?”  
   “Dessie. What do you want, Aradia.”  
     “Oh, nothing,” Aradia hopped onto Karkat’s bed, which was currently covered with disheveled blankets and pillows, a pile of which he was face down in. “Just wanted to be a friend and make sure you were okay.”  
     “I don’t need your help, alright? Just leave me alone to mourn.”  
     “I’ll let you mourn but first let me say my piece. Listen; I know how losing a parent feels, and take whatever time you need- but you still have plenty of people around you to help you get through this. We love and support you. Your dad isn’t gone either.”  
     “Yeah he is.”  
     “No, he’s in your heart.” Aradia smiled, and Karkat couldn’t help but chuckle..  
     “What is this, some _Lion King_ shit?”  
     “Yeah, except you’re gonna figure it out faster than Simba did.”  
     “Or you?”  
     Aradia’s smile faded a bit, but didn’t quite disappear. “Yeah. I felt… pretty dead there for a while.”  
     “So… what are you now?”  
     “I feel… very much alive. And I intend to stay that way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright SO! Clearly this is Aradia in her "final form" which is Godtier, alive and happy. I have the last chapter written, so it should be up soon and then I'm gonna start working on Part 2: The Nitrams.  
> The last chapter is p. much an epilogue of sorts in the sense that there's not much plot left but it just wraps things up a bit neater.


	15. Graduation

 

     For the next few weeks, everything seemed normal. Aradia was happy, even at Derse Academy. Damara was happy too, having kept up with school and done well enough to graduate with her friends. She came out of her room glowing in the cap and gown. The white fabric sparkled in the light. Hana emerged with her camera, insisting on pictures of Damara at every angle, and then pictures of her with Daniel, and with Aradia, and all of them together.  
     “Hana, let me take some of you and Damara,” Aradia said, reaching out for the camera. Hana smiled, handing it off to her. Aradia snapped a couple quick photos as Daniel’s hand came down on her shoulder.  
     “We gotta go,” he said to all three of them.  
     “Alright, alright, no more pictures, then,” Hana said, taking her camera back from Aradia.  
     “Wait, wait, one more,” Damara smiled, taking her phone out. “Everybody in.” They all squished close together and smiled as Damara took a selfie of all four of them.  
     “Okay, come on,” Daniel said, ushering the ladies towards the car.  
     “Hey, send that to me,” Aradia asked. Damara tapped away at her phone in the backseat, and as they drove off, a message appeared on Aradia’s phone. She opened it up- there was the family selfie. That was the first time it clicked; the first time Aradia had truly seen the four of them as a family. She could almost feel her mother smiling down at her.

     The graduation ceremony was a bit long-winded, but Aradia had her friends to pass the time, as they all had siblings that were graduating, and when Damara’s name was called- somewhere between Porrim and Rufioh- Aradia, Daniel, and Hana all cheered as loudly as they could. And after Horuss Zahhak received his diploma and returned to his seat, the Class of Skaia High stood and threw their caps into the air, creating a sea of sparkling white and shimmery blue. At the end of the ceremony, there was a lot of hugging, and excited yelling and cheering, and Aradia got spun on her heel in the confusion, into Sollux’s chest, and before she could say anything or understood what was happening, his lips were on hers, and she went onto her tiptoes to reach easier, and they just _felt_ for a moment, with each other. Sollux pulled away first.  
     “Ah… heh… I…” Sollux stuttered.  
     “That was… unexpected.”  
     “I… uh… d-do you wanna go out sometime?” Sollux blurted.  
     “Like… a date?”  
     “Yeah… yeah, a date. Definitely.  
     Aradia smiled. “Well the county fair is coming up; maybe we could do that.”  
     “Yeah… maybe,” Sollux smiled. “I gotta go. I’ll call you?”  
     “Mhm!”  
     “Okay, um… bye,” Sollux kissed her on the cheek again before disappearing into the crowd. Aradia, too, found her way back to her family, a giant smile plastered across her face. It was going to be a good summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postnotes- Aradia returned to Skaia High for her last 3 years and graduated with her friends. Damara went to a community college to continue her education before transferring to a four-year university. 
> 
> Yeah, this is more of an epilogue than a real chapter. ALSO I know Aradia and Sollux never kissed in canon but I personally ship them too hard for it NOT to be a thing here. 
> 
> Anyway this is the end of Aradia and Damara's section. I'm working on "The Nitrams" but it may be a couple days before its up. I want to post chapters more often because WOW this one part took me ~9 months and there's 16 families... and I don't want to take that long to finish, haha. Anyway hopefully I'll see you guys over in the next part! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
